


Beautiful Burn - A Chris Cornell and Andi O’Riden Love Story

by templeoftheslavegarden



Category: Audioslave (Band), Soundgarden (Band)
Genre: 90's Music, Chris Cornell - Freeform, F/M, Grunge, Seattle, soundgarden - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:53:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22178101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeoftheslavegarden/pseuds/templeoftheslavegarden
Summary: *A stand alone concept not related to the Louder Than Love Trilogy*See a train wreck, become that train wreck. That is the story of my life. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to break it. When will I learn to not repeat the same mistakes again? Possibly Never. All I know is that I just want to forget about who I am... even if it's just for a little while...Based off and inspired by a short story No Past, No Future written by MistressDiana in 2005. The names and places and times have been changed, but re-written to fit the context of my writing.
Relationships: Chris Cornell/Original Female Character
Kudos: 10





	1. One

Mojave Desert, May 31 1991

The desert sun burns a beautiful shade of red as it begins to set just over the hills. I shift into gear, my black '69 Dodge Charger roaring beneath me with the wind blowing through my dark curls. I've been driving for hours though it feels more like days and I desperately need a drink of some sort. You can only drive so far and so fast before everything merges into one and you can't seem to separate the sky from the road.

The desert highway is a place I can escape, even if I have no idea where I'm going, it's comforting in the fact that it allows me to feel so free. Let's face it, I'm a fuck up. No matter how hard I try, everything just seems to crumble to pieces if I have anything to do with it. I just need space. Time to think. A place to clear my head. So with a duffel bag packed with as much clothes as I could fit with my most cherished possessions, I did the only thing I know how to do.

Run.

Run as far away as my car will take me.

Reaching in the glove compartment I take out my aviator shades, flicking the last of my cigarette out the window and decide it's time for some music. I slide some Pantera - Cowboys From Hell in the cassette deck of the car listening to Dime's guitar rip through my ears.

As the incredible thirst for a drink takes over, I find a little one horse town just off the beaten path and pull up to an old dive bar. The only other vehicle in the lot was an old beat up pick up truck and I decided to park next to it.

I open the car door and swing my legs out, feeling the rough gravel from beneath my Doc's. I could still feel the residual desert heat from the day as the sun now casts a pinkish-purple hue across the sky.

I rise from the drivers seat, adjusting my ripped, distressed light wash mini denim skirt and my low cut Type O Negative band shirt that I had made into a little muscle tank top, showing off my cleavage in the best way possible. Flipping my curls out of my face, I grab my bag to freshen up a little bit and close the car door to make my way inside the bar.

I step inside and notice that the bar is actually bigger than it appears on the outside. The only one inside was the bartender who was wiping down the bar who looks up immediately at me as the door closes.

"Hey, uh... restroom?" I ask.

He sticks a toothpick between his lips, flicking the bar towel on his shoulder and points to the ladies room at the far left corner.

"Thanks," I smile shyly and he gives me a nod as I make my way through the bar tables and chairs to the ladies room. I eased myself into the tiny bathroom, setting my bag up on the counter.

"At least it's clean in here," I say to myself as I take my sunglasses off and glance at myself in the mirror. I didn't look as bad as I thought but I still needed a bit of a touch up, I examine the small cut just above my eyebrow, thankful that there's no bruise appearing under my eye. That's the thing about my life though, see a train wreck become that train wreck.

I grab a bit of toilet paper from the dispenser, wetting it under the tap and dab a little bit of the dried blood from the cut. It must've started bleeding again when I put my sunglasses on.

"Fuck," I sigh to myself trying to keep it together. I've come this far I don't need to break down now. I finish cleaning myself up a little feeling a bit fresher than before and 15 minutes later I was good to go. I slip my sunglasses back on, pack up my back, make sure my curls were alright as they fell down around my shoulders and I head out of the ladies room.

I quickly ran back out to my car, throwing my bag in the backseat and made my way back inside to sit up at the bar.

"So... What can I get for a pretty young thing like you?" The bartender smirks as he plays with the toothpick between his lips.

"Jack... straight up," I smirk. He pours me a shot, sliding it over to me with a napkin underneath and I try to think about what I should do for the rest of the evening. I know I need some food. I didn't think I was hungry but as soon as I downed that shot I could already feel the warm and fuzzies wash over my body. I order a couple of tacos and wash them down with another shot of whiskey, feeling nice and relaxed. I set the shot glass back down on the bar and the bartender offers me another one. I nod and he pours, then slides it back over to me.

"Is there like... a hotel or something, or some place around here to stay for the night?" I ask as I twirl the whiskey shot between my fingers.

"Hell, no," He smirks as he takes away my empty plate of tacos.

Well that's easy, looks like an all nighter is in store for me or a good sleep in the back of my car.

As I look around at the empty bar I know I'm not going to be able to stay up all night with the bartender as my only company. But that was about to change in a big way.

Suddenly what seemed like a cavalry of vehicles arrive just outside and pull up to park around my car. A couple of trucks, vans and a bus that practically looked like a tour bus filled the parking lot outside.

"What's going on out there?" I ask as I down my whiskey shot.

"Bunch of rock n' rollers... they're makin' some music video or somethin' out here in the desert and come here at night to eat, drink and play pool. Nice bunch a guys though... tip well," He says as he wipes down the bar.

"Huh... local?" I ask.

"Nah, from up north... Seattle I think,"

I was just about to ask a little bit more when the door opened and a bunch of guys came in. I glance at each one of them as they walk through the door but none of them seemed familiar to me but everyone looked tired and thirsty. When they saw the bartender, they all hailed and waved at him. They looked like they were from up north for sure and were not unpleasing to the eye, especially the one who wore just a pair of baggy black shorts, a black button up shirt that he left unbuttoned and Doc's that matched mine. His long dark curls fell around his shoulders as he flips his curls out of his face, grabbing the pool cue from the wall and chalking it up. He was gorgeous, but I didn't want to stare too long so I turned back as the bartender poured me another shot. There must have been at least 25 guys in the group of them, a few girls thrown in there as well. They had turned on the old jukebox, ordered a slew of beers and food. It didn't seem like they were paying any attention to me other than the first guy I noticed walking through. I would catch his blue eyed glance every once and a while as he played pool and sipped his drink, laughing with everyone else. I'm honestly surprised some of the girls weren't all over him.

With the last glance he gave me, I quickly turn back again looking up at the T.V that was mounted above the bar which was oddly tuned to MTV. A few flashes and then a music video started... Soundgarden's Loud Love.

"That's where you're from," I say quietly to myself as I watch a few flashes of the video. Seeing Chris Cornell bare chested in his ripped jeans and boyish face was a sure distance from how he looked across the room playing pool. His curls are now obviously a little tamer and that goatee makes him look incredibly gorgeous.

"Soundgarden is here?" I whispered to the bartender as he poured me another shot

"Oh yea, that's what they're called. I couldn't remember... you heard of 'em?"

"Yea a little... that's the lead singer over there," I say nonchalantly gesturing to the crowd around the pool tables.

"Really? You wanna meet 'em?" He smiles at me.

"Uh no, no that's ok," I suddenly regret mentioning anything at all.

"Nah, don't worry it's alright... Hey... uh Chris right?" The bartender flags him down and he looks up from the pool table where he was about to take his shot.

"Yea, man" Chris replies with that smile that could make your heart fly out of your chest.

"C' mere a second will ya?"

Chris put down the pool cue and whispered something to one of the other guys, flips his curls out of his face and wonders over to us. I couldn't help but let my eyes wonder over him. His amazingly tall, toned but lean figure was on display from the opened shirt that he hadn't buttoned. I had the best view of him all night.

"This pretty young thing would like to meet ya," The bartender hooks his thumb in my direction and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, burning with embarrassment.

Oh god, just kill me now.

I am of fan, I'll admit that but I'm not some high school girl or a groupie with a crush, I'm mature. Been through a hell of a lot of shit in my life. I'm the same age as Chris, maybe just a few months younger than him but all the same.

His eyes flick over to me, wondering over my body for a few minutes and then he flashes me that smirk and I smiled shyly back at him. I probably look a little disheveled given the fact I've been driving all day in the hot sun. I flip my dark curls out of my face and try to straighten myself as I down another shot of whiskey.

"Mind if I join you?" Chris says to me offering me another smile as he moves over to me.

"No, not at all," I say and set the shot glass down in front of me. I'm surprised I'm not wasted yet but I have been pacing myself.

"I'm Chris," He says sweetly as he offered his hand for me to shake.

"I know," I say awkwardly with a bit of a giggle and realizing it was just a polite way for him to ask my name.

"I'm Andrea - er Andi," I say shaking my head a little and I reach out to shake his hand.

"Andi...? Well, nice to meet you Andi," He says giving me a flirtatious wink.

"So uh, what are you guys doing out here?" I ask trying to act casual as I gesture for the bartender to pour me another shot.

"We're uh... shooting a video out here, and it's only the second day and we're dying out here already," He chuckles.

"Not used to the desert heat?" I ask as the bartender pours me some whiskey.

"You could say that," He smiles at me then asks the bartender to have what I'm having.

"Never seen a chick drink whiskey like that before," He says as he takes a sip from his shot glass.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Like it's water, without any reaction," He raises his eyebrow at me.

"I guess I'm not like most chicks," I say and take a sip of my whiskey this time.

"So, you from around here?" He asks as he flicks his eyes over my body again, landing just at my chest for a few moments and then looks away to sip his whiskey.

Ok think Andi think...

"No... just passing through, on my way to Vegas... so..." I lie. He takes another sip from his shot glass, setting it down and asking for another. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over his body as well. He looks so fucking amazing. So much more so than on T.V

"Vegas huh? Nice place," He raises his eyebrow at me again.

"Yea, yea it is... crowded though..." I say as I twirl the shot glass between my fingers.

"True... lots of temptation as well," He says slyly.

"Yea..." I trail off and take another sip of my whiskey.

Please don't ask any more questions about me, I'm running remember?

Somehow like he heard what I was thinking, the conversation switched to current events and what not, trailing into a conversation about music, different genre's we're into, bands we like... I take it he figured out I was a metal chick probably just from looking at me which sort of made me nervous about my story since I sure don't look like I'm from around here.

"So the video you guys are shooting... is that for the new record or somethin'?" I ask as I shift myself on my bar stool attempting to flirt but feeling like it wasn't coming out right. It had been a while since I've even attempted to and thank god for that liquid courage because any other time I just feel awkward, out of place and not even remotely confident enough to try at all. 

"Yea... the record's due out in September so the record company wants a video as soon as possible... promote it to the masses you know," He smirks.

"Aiming for something a little different?" I ask gesturing to what he was wearing. It wasn't far off from what he looked like in his other videos but, damn he looks good. He looks down at himself for moment, opening his shirt just a little more, his dark curls falling down around him then glances back up at me with that sly smirk again. I guess I'm not the only one who's trying to flirt.

"Maybe," He says taking the last sip of his whiskey. I glance up at the clock above the bar and see that it was now creeping towards midnight, not even realizing how long we've been sitting here chatting away. I knew it was a while though as I could feel my bladder become increasingly full. I excuse myself to the ladies room to relieve myself and assess the situation in the mirror.

It looks like the cut above my eyebrow has started to bleed a little again. I grab some paper towels and dabbed what I could, cleaning it up again as best I could. I'm also really starting to feel those shots of Jack Daniels and I wasn't sure if I should continue on. I really just need to sleep this off before I start to embarrass myself. I tried to think of something to excuse myself without offending Chris and figured I'll just wing it once I get back to the bar.

Once I decided I looked presentable enough again, I stepped out of the ladies room and found that Chris wasn't at the bar any longer. I couldn't tell through the crowd of people if he was still even there so I just decided to step outside and head to my car, hopefully un-noticed.

The night air was still warm and all was quiet except for the muffled music coming from inside. I saw a few flickers of lightning off in the distance with a rumble of thunder and a part of me welcomes the storm that was brewing off in the distance. At least it'll help me sleep in the back of my car.

I'm glad I didn't have to use an excuse, maybe Chris was trying to find a way to escape me and he just used my leave to the ladies room as a perfect time to escape and didn't want to hurt my feelings. 

"As if I have any feelings left to hurt," I mumbled to myself as I pull out my car keys from my pocket. I stood there for a moment, trying to decide if I was alright to drive. I did feel pretty drunk, but I wasn't slurring or anything and I could still walk straight or at least it felt like I could. I reach out for the door handle of my car and suddenly a hand closes over mine, his soft suede wrist bands feeling so smooth against my wrist.

"Where are you going?" His voice soft and low coming from behind me.

"Away, before I get too drunk to drive," I reply, not wanting to explain any more than that.

"Do you have a place to stay?" He asks.

"I'm just going to sleep it off in my car," I say still not turning around.

"Well that's not fun," He says lower and sexier as he moved closer behind me.

"This place apparently doesn't have any accommodations, so the back seat of my car is better than nothing,"

"It can be, but really, you just have to know where to look," He says so slyly that I could feel chills running up and down my spine. I turn to face him and lean my back against my car, his gorgeous blue eyes flick over my body again stopping for a moment at my cleavage again, then back to my eyes.

"Chris, I'm not one of your groupie chicks looking for a quick fuck," I sigh flipping my curls out of my face.

"I never thought you were," He says moving even closer and I could feel the heat radiating from his body as he leans himself against the car, his arms on either side of me.

"Fuck, me," I sigh in frustration with myself as I look away from him, my dark curls falling in my face again.

"Only if you want me to," He says playfully, trying to catch my eyes again. I glance back at him, finding that our lips were now dangerously close and I lean back a little more trying my hardest to resist him.

"You don't want this?" He asks, his eyebrows raised with a look of worry for some reason. I couldn't tell if it was worry for me or something else entirely.

"I honestly have no fucking clue," I exhale.

"I know... that's why you're running"

"How did you...?" I started but he glances at the cut above my brow and I couldn't bring myself to finish the question. He reaches up touching the cut just above my brow, gently tracing along the line, brushing a curl that had strewn across my face from the wind that had started to pick up a bit. I look down at myself suddenly feeling self conscious as he steps back from me for a moment, touching his beard and giving another glance over.

"Andi... just look around, there's no one here... we can both just forget about who we are... have a little fun..." Chris says gesturing around the parking lot. I look out towards the road for a moment, then look passed him towards the bar door and he was right. There was no one here, other than his band mates and I'm pretty sure they could give two fucks about what anyone was doing right now. I shook my keys in my hand trying to think but nothing was coming to this drunken head of mine.

"Where...?" I flick my eyes back up to his and the slyest smirk spreads across those beautiful lips of his.

"Let me drive and I'll show ya," He raises his eyebrow at me. At first I thought maybe he just wanted to drive my car and maybe that's true but also maybe it's better that he drives just in case. I hold out my car keys to him, dangling them from my fingers and he reaches out and takes them from me.

"Be careful, she's my baby," I warn raising my eyebrow back at him and I walk around to the passenger side feeling his eyes watch me as he steps up to the driver's side and we both climb in my car. It felt a little strange that I was letting him drive my car but for some reason I trusted him. I mean yea, this is Chris Cornell here but I still don't know him from a hole in the wall. He starts the engine and she comes to life and he reaches down to shift into gear as Pantera blasts through the speakers.

"A whiskey girl who also drives stick..." He says glancing over at me continuing his flirtatious demeanor.

"And listens to Pantera... told ya I'm not like most chicks," I flirt right back, regaining my confidence in doing so.

We pull out of the parking lot and he revs the engine a bit. I take it that he's always wanted to drive a '69 Dodge Charger and I can't say that I blame him. Like I said, she's my baby. We drive a little bit down the highway, the sound of the engine filling our ears as 'Domination' starts up through the stereo. I reach over and open up the glove compartment, pull out a pack of smokes and light one up. Chris glances at me as I take a drag, and exhaling as I pass it over to him. He raises his eyebrow at me again and without taking his hands off the wheel, he leans in taking the cigarette from me with his lips, squinting his eyes from the rising smoke. I watch him for a few moments as he puffs on the cigarette, then I take it from his lips and take another drag, squinting my eyes from the smoke.

"You gonna tell me how you got that cut on your eyebrow?" Chris asks as he looks out the windshield, exhaling the smoke from the cigarette.

"I thought we were forgetting about who we are," I say exhaling the smoke, with the cigarette still between my lips, lifting my leg to loosen the lace of my boot. Chris glances over at me giving me a long look at my thighs and then wondering over my chest again as I flip my curls out of my face. He smirks at me taking the cigarette from my lips, taking a drag for himself and turns his attention back to the road.

We eventually come up to a spot where there were a few vehicles parked, a large Volkswagen van and a couple of tents set up. It looked like they were just recently filming here earlier today. Chris pulls up to the van and cuts the engine.

"Is this where your staying?" I ask gesturing to the Volkswagen van.

"Just 'til tomorrow, then it's back to Seattle," He says glancing over at me taking the last drag of the cigarette and tossing it out the car window. I open my car door and step outside as he watches me and I close the door. He then steps out of the car himself, closing the door, handing me my keys and flipping his beautiful curls out of his face. He then makes his way over to the van door and opens it.

"After you," He says turning back to me and holding the door. I flash him a smirk, step inside, finding a spot on his makeshift bed and was immediately over taken by the heat and stuffiness inside.

"Here," He says and reaches up to pull open the window vent and the air started circulating immediately. He grabbed a small lamp and hung it from the ceiling instantly making the van look a little more intimate, then returned to sit across from me.

"So, what do you think?" He says.

"Not bad, better than my set up for the night," I say as I glance over his body again, his shirt still open revealing that perfectly toned chest and those abs that drove every girl crazy.

There was a brief awkward moment and I think he could sense it. My buzz was certainly starting to wear off and I could feel my courage waning.

"Hey Andi, we don't have to do - "

"No, no... I want to but uh... you got a drink, or something?" I cut him off though I didn't mean to but I got this far and I don't want to turn back now.

"Uh yea," He says looking around the van for a moment, finding the cooler and pulling out a small bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrews the cap and takes a sip then hands me the bottle. He watches me as I take a small sip at first, then a longer drink, closing my eyes and relishing in the beautiful burn that trickles down my throat. Once I finished my sip, I hand the bottle back to him and he takes another sip for himself, offers the bottle back to me again but I decline.

"No I'm good, I want to remember at least something about tonight," I say as he caps the Jack Daniels bottle and sets it down on the cooler.

"Trust me, I won't let you forget," He says low and so lustfully, flipping his curls out of his face as his eyes flick over my body again. He moves closer to me placing his hands on my hips but I stop him.

"Wait... I wanna see you first," I say, not meaning to be so bold but I couldn't help it. My buzz was coming back and damn his body was driving me crazy.

"Uh huh... alright, I'll show you mine if you show me yours," He says so slyly.

"Deal... you first though," I smirk and he chuckles.

"How 'bout some music?" He raises his eyebrow at me and for some reason I get the feeling like he was trying to stall. I shrug and he moves into a crouch reaching into the front and suddenly his voice started coming out through the stereo.

"Fuck no, not me," He laughs and changes it to something else. Black Sabbath's Sweet Leaf. Perfect for the mood.

"Master of Reality?" I ask.

"Yea," He smiles at me as he returns to sitting cross legged across from me.

"Shirt," I gesture to him after a few moments of him glancing over my body again.

"Right," He chuckles looking down at himself for a moment, then takes off his button up shirt, his curls spilling across his chest as he tosses the shirt aside. Feeling bold from the drink of whiskey, I move into a kneeling position, reaching over and touching his chest, feeling every toned muscle and the smoothness of his skin. Fuck he's gorgeous. I move my hands over his shoulders and down his biceps admiring how his freckles show with his fresh tan from earlier today. He then looks up at me with that look of hunger.

"Now you," Chris says with his blue eyes gleaming at me. I smirk remembering our deal and move my hands to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up over my head, revealing my black lacy push up bra to him as my dark curls fall down around my shoulders while I toss my shirt aside.

"Eh hmmm," He clears his throat gesturing for me to take off my bra. I take the hint... since he was completely shirtless, I should be too. I teasingly unclasp my bra, freeing my breasts before him and tossing it aside with my shirt.

"Jeezus," He exhales and bites his bottom lip as his hands move to my hips , his fingers trailing up my sides, his calloused fingers skipping over my pale skin, his thumbs softly caressing the sides of my breasts.

"Hard or soft?" He asks, his eyes lingering at my breasts, then wandering down.

"Hard. God, make it hard," I sigh. He chuckles as his eyes find mine again and with that, he flips me over so that he was on top of me, his lips immediately making contact with my neck while his hands scrambled to unbuckle my belt. I thought maybe of just suggesting that he just lift up my skirt instead, but he was able to finally unbuckle me, pulling it down over my hips, tossing it aside with the rest of my clothes. Soon enough we were both completely undressed, though he still kept those suede wrist bands on, and sat up for a moment to gaze at me.

"Damn," He whispers as I push a few curls out of my eyes.

"I could just eat you right now," He says as his eyes flick over my body again and I blush. It has been a long time since anyone gave me a compliment like that.

I open my legs flicking my eyes to his, and bite my bottom lip .

"Yea, exactly," He growls, flipping his curls and positioning himself, wasting no time in getting to work. As soon as his lips touched me I swear I wanted to scream. My clit was alive and throbbing even before his lips touched me but once his tongue went to work, I knew I was not going to last very long, but I can still go again.

His tongue flicks while his lips suck and I swear to god, it feels as if he is pulling the very soul right out of my body. His hands move to spread my legs farther open for him and I thought I was about to lose it. He is determined and so am I and never once did he let up, not even for a second.

Reaching up, threading my fingers through my own curls, gripping at my roots I start to pant, whimpering and moaning beneath him. My other hand goes for his hair, entwining my fingers through his curls encouraging him to continue sucking and flicking my clit. Once his fingers entered me, it was over.

"Jeezus fuck, Chris.. I'm gonna fucking cum," I whine, not even recognizing my own voice and he still never once let up. He moans against me, still sucking my clit for all it is worth and that is all the encouragement I need to finally let go. The wave of incredible orgasm took over my entire body, edging me once again and tipping over immediately after the first one. I whimper and groan a string of profanities that even a sailor would blush at.

When he finally lifts his head from between my legs, wiping his chin with his palm, his expression displaying that he is quite pleased with himself, I continue to pant trying to come down from my high and get my bearings again.

"Sounded like you needed that," He says.

"Uh huh," I pant.

"That better not be all you got tonight," He says as he sits up to look at me.

"Uh uh... trust me I still got... a lot left in me... are you sure you can handle it though?" I tease in between my panting.

"After a performance like that, how could I not?" He smiles that devilish grin, flipping his curls out of his face once again.

"Prove it," I smirk batting my brown eyes at him. He bites his bottom lip and in one swift movement, he flips me over so that I was on my stomach and I giggle as I lift myself up on all fours. His hands grab my hips and he pulls me pack to him as he positions himself behind me.

"Hard remember?" I remind him as I glance back at him for a moment. His hand smacks my butt cheek which made me yelp in surprise and I start to giggle again.

He leans over me, his one hand still gripping my hip, his other moving to my hair entwining his fingers through and giving me a tug, pulling my head back as I gasp feeling completely turned on by his actions right now.

"Trust me I haven't forgotten," He purrs in my ear, his voice filled with lust and determination, his breath hot as his lips brush my earlobe, then moves to the spot just under my earlobe and bites, sending a wave of shivers all over my body. Then wasting no time once again, he inserts himself inside me.

"Oh, fuck," I cry out in surprise, as I knew it was coming but I didn't realize just how big he really was. Thank god he was gentle going in otherwise I would've stopped him.

"You alright?" He asks stopping for a moment.

"Yes... fuck, don't stop," I pant. I appreciated the fact that he was concerned for a moment but I'm not interested in niceties right now. He begins to move again and the feeling of him inside me completely filling me up is a feeling that I never knew I could have again.

"I said hard Chris," I instruct. He starts to thrust harder with more determination and tugs my curls once more. I start to whimper relishing in the length and fullness of him inside me. He bucks his hips against me and I respond, pushing back, moaning and panting. Then for some reason he moves his hand from my hip, moving up my side and around to my front pulling me up into a seated position with him still behind me. My curls fall down around me, falling across my face and he takes his one hand, brushing them off my shoulder, revealing that spot just under my earlobe again and presses his lips, softly brushing and kissing all along down to my shoulder.

It's starting to feel like he's trying to be gentle again and I don't want gentle.

"Chris stop," I say quickly.

"Huh?" He pants.

"Just... stop for a minute," I say moving off of him.

"You alright..? Did I hurt you?" He asks furrowing his brow at me and panting. I turn around to face him, flipping my curls out of my face.

"No, no you didn't hurt me," I pant trying to catch my breath. He studies me for a couple of moments as he tries to catch his breath.

"Just... um... can I be on top?" I look away from him for a moment and then flick my eyes back to him. I could feel that awkward moment creeping back in the van and I just wanted to get rid of it as fast as it appeared.

"Absolutely," He flashes me that devilish grin and moves to lay himself down on his back beside me, raising his arms and clasping his fingers together behind his head. My eyes wonder all over his body glancing at those perfect pecks and further still noticing he hasn't lost his arousal one bit.

I climb up on top of him as gracefully as I can, placing my hand around his shaft, finally getting a good look at just how large he really is which makes my heart beat a bit faster and I give him a squeeze in my hand.

"Damn," Was all he could get out before his eyes fluttered shut tilting his head back and biting his bottom lip. I worked him a little bit, pumping my hand up and down, earning moans of encouragement from him as a tiny bit of pre-cum released from him.

"You ready?" I ask.

"I have been for a while now," He breathes. With that I move to position myself, straddling him and guiding him inside me as best I can.

"Oh, fuck," He exhales as I start to move, placing my hands on his chest to steady myself. I arch my back rocking my hips against him, making sure to feel every inch of him inside me. I close my eyes and throw my head back as he reaches to grip my hips to help guide me.

"Oh god, yes... make me forget," I moan as he starts to buck his hips again.

"I'm not going to let you forget this... not one single... second... of... this," He pants in between each hard thrust and he suddenly flips me over so that I was now underneath him. I wrap my legs around him as tight as I can, moving my hands to his beautiful curls again threading my fingers through as he buries his face in my neck, biting in the most perfect way possible. I grind my hips against him, whimpering and moaning, feeling that pressure building up inside me. My fingers release from his hair, moving to his back and I find myself clawing and digging my fingers up and down as hard as I can.

"Fuck... I'm so fucking close," I whine.

"No, wait... not yet," Chris pleads and I respond by tightening my muscles around him.

"Ah, fuck..." He flicks his eyes open and looks at me.

"Protected?"

"Yes, go for it," I moan as he looks into my eyes. A few hard final thrusts and he was crying out just like he does in so many of his songs and in doing so, I release all of the hurt and pain I've endured, matching his orgasm with my own and forgetting just for a little while.

"Jeezus," I exhale as he lifts his head from my shoulder to look at me, placing his hands on either side of my face, brushing the stray curls out of my eyes. I study his eyes as he seems to not want to break his gaze from me at all and we lay there together not saying one word. The rumbling of thunder off in the distance, and Black Sabbath's Into The Void finally coming to an end signals to me that something more than just a fuck happened in this van, whether I care to admit it or not.


	2. Two

Mojave Desert, May 31 1991

"I uh... think I need a smoke," I say offering a half smile, feeling awkward and desperately wanting to break this little moment between us.

"Yea... me too," Chris clears his throat, blinking a few times quickly looking away and moves off of me. I flip my curls out of my face, moving over to throw on my black thong panties, and throwing my Type O Negative tank top back on. He watches me as I loosely throw on my Doc's and open the van door to step out into the night air.

The air was a lot cooler than before, given the fact that it was now close to 3am. There was still the distant flickering of lighting and rumbles of thunder but still not a single drop of rain, obviously being in the desert and all. I step over to my car, reaching in the passenger window, opening the glove compartment and pulling out the pack of smokes. I light one up and lean against my car taking a long drag, feeling instantly relaxed and free standing out here in just my panties and shirt. A few moments later Chris emerges from the van in just his black baggy shorts and loosely tied Doc's like mine, flipping his curls out of his face and wandering over to me. I exhale a cloud of smoke and offer the cigarette to him. He takes it from me and takes a long drag.

"It's beautiful out here, don't you think? " He says exhaling a cloud of smoke looking up at the sky as a slight breeze blows through.

"Yea it is," I say quietly looking up at him and then letting my gaze fall to land over his chest.

"I always loved the idea of wide open space like this. I'm glad I was able to actually travel out here to see it. It's not like the mountains at all... constant pissing mist and overcast for like 9 months of the year..." He trails off gazing up at the clouds that now seemed to part, revealing the tiny sparkling of stars.

"Is there like... no such thing as summer in Seattle or something?" I ask. He glances down at me and chuckles a little.

"No, well... we have summer but it only seems to last for like, a month or two and then its back to doom and gloom as they say," He says and takes another drag of the cigarette.

"Doom and gloom eh? Sounds like it's perfect for me," I say looking down for a moment. He looks down at me as I gently kick the tire of my car, my curls falling down around my shoulders. I can feel him studying me for a few moments though I keep my gaze on the ground.

"Wanna come back in the van and have a drink with me?" He asks sweetly as he takes another drag. I glance at him for a moment and his eyes lock with mine as if he's searching my soul, like he's trying to read me.

I reach up and take the cigarette from his lips, taking a drag for myself, looking up at the sky and exhaling a cloud of smoke as he keeps his gaze locked to me. He then reaches over taking one of my curls and brushing it off my face, twirling it around his finger, softly playing with it.

"Why are you running Andi...?" He asks, his blue eyes studying me still. That question hit me harder than I thought it would. I refused to look back at him and I glance up at the stars.

"You can uh... see Orion's Belt up there..." My voice cracks a little as I avoid the question being presented to me.

"Andi...?" He says softly.

"We're forgetting who we are remember?" I reply looking back down at myself and quickly taking another drag of my cigarette.

"Andi?" He repeats only this time his voice was filled with concern, almost comforting like he wanted to be the one I could run to, confess to, make everything right in my world again. Truth is, I don't know if anyone can make anything right in my world again.

I continue to avoid his gaze and I hear him sigh, possibly in frustration by me which I certainly can't blame him.

"Look... we don't have to talk or anything... just sip some whiskey and hang out...listen to some tunes..." He says sweetly again with a gentle smile.

"Hang out? Like, what.... we're in high school or something?" I smirk, exhaling a cloud of smoke then I glance up at him raising my eyebrow. He shrugs for a moment, not exactly sure how to respond to my comment.

I still keep my eyes locked to the ground and eventually he starts to make his way back to the van. I look back at him flipping my curls out of my face watching him as he slides the van door open steps inside.

"God damn it," I whisper to myself, and angry at the fact that I'm so fucking stubborn. After a few more moments I decide to make my way over to the van and stop at the open door to see Chris laying down on his back, his arms raised and his hands clasped behind his head, his beautiful dark curls splayed out across his chest with only a blanket pulled up to his hips. The tiny overhead lamp that hung from the van ceiling still made it look so intimate as my eyes nonchalantly glance over his beautiful body.

"Is, um... there room in that bed... for...? You know," I ask clearing my throat.

"Why don't you come in and find out?" He smirks, flicking his eyes over me. I bite my bottom lip and step inside, slipping off my boots and my shirt but leaving my panties on, then crawling up to him as he watches me do so. Suddenly I could feel that awkward moment creep up again as I lay down beside him, trying to get comfortable. I finally nestle myself in the perfect spot as he pulls the blanket up over us, his eyes finally catching mine. He then brushes a few curls from my face, his eyes glancing between mine and my lips and I suddenly find myself craving for him to kiss me, not knowing why. Then like he somehow knew, he softly brushes his lips against mine and I feel his beard gently tickle my lips as I slowly close my eyes.

His kiss was soft and gentle, almost loving. It had been so long since anyone has kissed me that I completely forgot what it felt like. It was something I never knew I missed until I felt those lips brush mine.

Who would've thought that after all the fucking we just did, we hadn't even kissed yet and to be honest, I was afraid to kiss him. I was afraid to feel all those wonderful feelings that you have when you kiss someone for the first time only to be broken down in the end.

But I find myself responding to him, our lips moving together, becoming passionate and soulful as his tongue swipes across my bottom lip. Sighing, I bring my hands up to his hair, entwining my fingers through his soft thick curls, sucking that bottom lip of his, feeling my body practically melt in his arms. After a few moments, he breaks the kiss, touching his forehead to mine and for a few short seconds, it felt like I was finally safe.

Safe from the horrible world outside, safe from everything and everyone who had ever hurt me and caused me pain. It was such an unfamiliar feeling to me for those few seconds that I had to fight the urge to run.

Eventually I fell asleep in his arms, my head resting against his chest and once the sun started to rise in the early hours of dawn, I awoke to the feeling of the desert heat beginning to rise in the old Volkswagen van.

I carefully move myself away from Chris, sitting up slowly glancing at him as he sleeps. His lips slightly parted, his curls all around him, laying on his back looking completely at peace as his chest slowly rises and falls. Reaching for my denim skirt, I pull out a hair tie and throw my hair up in a high ponytail on top of my head, just to tame a bit of the messy bed head of curls that had occurred overnight. I quietly slip on my skirt buckling my belt, quickly clasping my bra and throw my Type O Negative shirt back on. Just as I was slipping my Doc's back on my feet, I feel Chris shift a little beside me.

"Hey," He says, his voice still sleepy.

"Hey," I say back though I don't look at him as I lace up my boot.

"Leaving?" He says after a few moments as I start on the other boot.

"I better," I reply still not looking at him, feeling the awkward moment creeping up between us again.

I had to go, especially before everyone started showing up and asking questions much like the ones I avoided with Chris last night. It's easy to distract one person, but how would I do it with the whole group? I slide open the van door and step outside leaving Chris watching me from the van. I walk over to my car, opening the car door and reach into grab my duffel bag in the back seat. I quickly apply some deodorant, feeling a bit fresher than before but not by much and then grab my pack of cigarettes out of the glove compartment as Chris steps out of the van just in his baggy black shorts and boots.

"You uh... you wanna come with us?" He asks as he walks over to me, flipping his curls out of his face and leans against my car crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yea right," I say in disbelief as I light up a cigarette.

"I'm serious... It's the last day of filming here and then we head back to Seattle... we uh, got a gig at The Central. I'd like it if you came," He says with his blue eyes glancing over me.

"That's a little farther North than where I'm headed though," I say as I exhale a cloud of smoke.

"I didn't think it mattered when you're running," Chris says flatly and I look up at him as we look at each other for a few moments.

"Andi - "

"Chris, I don't want to be your groupie girl, you know?" I say softly.

"You're not.... I'm just asking you to keep me company until this is over and... we can just go back to living our lives... I know we can't make plans... I just... I had a lot of fun with you last night," He says and looks down at himself as I take another drag from my cigarette and offer it to him.

His offer was tempting and my body ached at the thought of sharing a bed with him for a few more nights.

"I had a lot of fun with you too... It's definitely a night I'll never forget. I do appreciate the offer though... but... I should move on," I say and look away for a moment as he takes a drag of the cigarette. The sun had just began to peak over the hills in the east and I figured I should get going before the heat starts to intensify.

"Ok, I understand" He nods as he lets out a cloud of smoke. I look back at him and he offers a gentle smile as I pull my car keys out of the pocket of my skirt.

"We're gearing up to head out on tour in the next few weeks... you think maybe I could contact you if you happen to be in the area... wherever that may be?" He asks as he looks down for a moment and then looks back to me, catching my eyes once more.

"Yea, sure... I'd uh... I'd like that," I say offering a small smile. I let go of his hand and reach in the back seat grabbing my journal and a pen out of my bag. I open it up to the last blank page and scribble, tearing out the page, folding it and handing it to him.

"That's a number you can reach me at if you like, it's where I'll be staying in Vegas for the next little bit... I guess," I say a little nervously as if I've never been asked for my number before. He nods as he opens the paper and then closes it quickly, folding it back up.

"Ok... uh, well...?" He trails off and stuffs the paper in his back pocket.

It was time to get out of here.

After another few moments of silence, I turn to open the car door but he reaches out for my hand. I turn back to look up but he leans down to me and presses his lips to mine in a long soulful kiss, feeling like he didn't want to let me go. Once he parted his lips from mine, just like last night he touched his forehead to mine, seemingly not wanting to break the moment between us.

"Never forget... ok?" He says once he breaks away from me.

"I won't," I re-assure him furrowing my brow a little. I climb into my car and he closes the door for me, firing up the ignition as we keep our eyes locked to each other for just a bit longer. He then gives the door a little tap on the open window and I put the car into reverse, then take off pulling out on to the road, leaving him behind.

I gunned the '69 Dodge Charger down the road, driving as fast as I could out of town to get to the next one. The heaviness in my heart increasing as I drove further and further away from that night. After a much needed meal and a quick shower at a truck stop, my head was clear and once I got back to my car, after debating in my mind and realizing that I should just fucking do it, I turned North on my way to Seattle.


	3. Three

Los Angeles California, September 24 1991

"You're such a fucking bitch you know that? I can't even fucking believe I'm even with you anymore!"

"I'm a bitch? What the serious fuck John? I fucking caught you with her and I'm a bitch?" I exclaim in the passenger seat of his Ford pick up truck.

"You know what, she was a better fucking fuck than you ever were and I'm not even sorry you caught me. I don't give a shit, I just want you out of my life," John's eyes burn into mine as he drives us down the street.

"You want me out of your life? Well fine fuck you! Fuck you and that little fucking whore... you deserve each other!" I scream and he aggressively pulls up to the curb.

"Get the fuck out of my truck!" He says menacingly.

"Gladly!" I yell grabbing my bag, quickly opening the door and stepping out but not before he speeds away, almost taking me with him.

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole!" I scream as I nearly stubble out on the sidewalk and throw up my middle finger at him. For a moment I didn't even care that people were out on the sidewalk watching our fight take place.

I had enough. Just another person in my life who doesn't give a shit about me.

As John spins the tires of his shitty Ford pick-up and speeds away I accidentally stumble right into a tall figure, practically planting right in his chest.

"Shit, you alright?" He catches me to steady me as I stumble backwards a little.

I know that voice.

I look up and I swear to god I thought my heart was about to stop.

Chris Cornell.

"Wait... Andi...? " He says as he looks down at me, his eyebrows raised in surprise, his hands still holding my arms. I was speechless.

"Uh, yea..." I clear my throat feeling extremely embarrassed but stable myself pushing a few curls out of my face, making sure my sunglasses were still on.

"Jeezus Christ are you ok? Who was that?" Chris asks extremely concerned as he looks down the road where John sped off and then turns back to me trying to look into my eyes though I keep my sunglasses on.

"No one,"

"You sure you're alright?" Chris asks giving me those concerned eyes again.

"I'm good... I just um... I'm good," I smile awkwardly back and suddenly there was this weird empty space between us.

"I almost didn't even recognize you..." He smiles at me, those gorgeous blue eyes feeling like they are burning into my soul.

"Yea... I seem to have that affect on people..." I smile awkwardly again. This is not how I intended to run into Chris, if I was to run into him... which now I have.

"You know I can go kick his ass if you want me to?" Chris hooks his thumb towards the direction that John sped off to.

"No, no I'm fine... I'll be fine... he was just an... asshole," I say as I adjust my shirt and I feel Chris's eyes flick over my body. God how I missed that. There was more awkward silence between us and all I wanted to do was just run. I really didn't want Chris to see me like this. After the way we left things back in the summer, I didn't want him to see me stuck at the same spot in my life.

Running.

"I'm just heading to the Rainbow for a few drinks with the guys, wanna join me? We can catch up?" He asks so sweetly. As much as that offer was tempting I really didn't want to face a crowd of people right now, especially a crowd I haven't met yet.

"Um... I can't right now..." I trail off moving around him feeling horribly guilty that I don't really have an excuse other than I just don't want to be around a crowd right now.

"Oh... ok um, well how'bout later tonight then? We're having a record release party at the hotel we're staying at but I'd really like it if you came?" He says as I turn back to face him and he flips those gorgeous curls out of his face.

"Sure, tonight sounds... good," I offer a smile back. Chris smiles back at me and it almost felt like my heart was about to stop again. He then reaches into the pocket of his baggy black shorts, pulls out his wallet and hands me a card.

"It's where we're staying..." He trails of flipping his curls out of his face again.

"Ok," I say quietly as I look down at the card.

"You sure you're ok? I mean it, I'll kick his ass," Chris says which actually made me giggle.

"Yea, I'm ok," I smile at him.

"Ok... I'll uh... see you tonight then," He smiles at me and I nod feeling that awkward moment creeping back up again and as soon as it showed up, it was broken as he continues on his way down the sidewalk, his dark curls swaying with each stride of his Doc's while he lights up a cigarette and exhales a cloud of smoke. I let out a long exhale, not realizing I was holding my breath, then turn and make my way back to the place that I was staying at. It was just a friends place since I needed a place to stay while I was stupidly trying to work it out with John. But now I know that it's definitely over between us, I'm pretty much ready to pack up and leave California, much like all those months ago when I met Chris the first time. Only this time I'm sticking to it.

See a train wreck, become that train wreck. Funny how that seems to stick with me no matter what I try to do to get rid of it. It wasn't liked I loved John anyways. I thought maybe I did but...I don't even know what love feels like but I sure as hell know it doesn't feel like this.

Within a few short hours I was once again able to pack everything I had in my duffel bag, throwing it in the back seat of my black '69 Dodge Charger and headed down the streets of L.A. Even though so many months have passed since I did this the first time, I hadn't made any progress in not repeating my same mistakes.

"But at least I still don't have any feelings left to hurt," I mumble to myself, leaning my head on my hand as I drive down the street trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. I was tempted to just stay at the hotel that Chris is staying at, since he gave me that card but I didn't know if that would be weird or not. I am kind of excited to see him and once again forget about who I am and just have some fun.

"Fuck it," I say to myself and turn down the sunset strip, making my way to the hotel that Chris was staying at.

I find a parking spot, and with my duffel bag in tow, I head into the hotel and check into a room. Once I get to my room, I take a quick shower, clean myself up a bit and take a look at the damage in the mirror. The bruise under my eye is still there, of course but at least it's not swollen like it was earlier today.

"Fuck..." I exhale.

Maybe I can work a little make-up magic on it.

I fix my curls and walk out of the bathroom to change into a tight black mini skirt that I had cut up and distressed, my Pantera band shirt from earlier today and my Doc's of course. Once I feel like I look human again, I take one last look in the mirror, then make my way to Chris's room.

*****

"Well... are you going to let me in or not?" I ask looking back and forth between the two body guards that stood in front of the door. 

"Look, sweetie, we said no, it's a private party now just run along alright?" The larger bodyguard said as he crossed him arms over his chest. He was big but not muscular, he mostly looked fat. The kind of fat that starts at the back of his neck and goes all the way down to his feet.

I sighed and turned to head back to my room and just forget about the whole thing, listening to those big goons snicker behind me. I was about to turn around and say something but I figured what's the point? Standing in the elevator, embarrassed with myself to think that I would've been able to show up at a record release party with no invitation, other than just a card with a room number on it.

Once I arrive back at my room, I sat down on the bed, kicked my feet up and mindlessly flipped on the T.V, flipping through channels thinking about where I should go from here.

At least this time I have a place to stay and not just the back seat of my car... or well you know.

Thirty minutes of me flipping through the channels I finally glance over at the phone and see a red light flashing indicating I had a message.

"Hi Andi, it's Chris... I saw you down in the lobby checking in earlier so I had the front desk connect me to you room, but you're out... obviously... so yea I'm glad you're here... if you wanna come up to the room, just call first so I can let the guys know to let you in, ok? ... alright see ya,"

Holy shit he called me!

I listened to it twice more just to make sure I wasn't imagining it, I mean I know I ran into him on the street today but I didn't think he would call me.

I have no idea why all of a sudden I feel so insatiably nervous. I just ran into him a few hours ago but for some reason the nervousness is hitting me hard. I take in a few deep breaths and lift up the receiver and dial the suite number. 

"Hello?"

"Hey... uh can I speak to Chris?" My voice cracks

"What? You gotta speak up sweetie,"

"Chris, Can I talk to Chris?" I repeat a little louder.

"Oh yea sure, hang on,"

I hear the phone drop and a bunch of music in the background with people yelling and singing. Finally after what seemed like an eternity I heard the phone pick up again.

"Hello, Chris here,"

His voice sounded slightly hoarse and I froze just for a second.

"Hello?" He said again.

"Hi, it's... it's Andi," my voice cracks again. Why the hell am I sounding like this?

"Andi! Alright, you got my message," He says excitedly.

"Yea,"

"You wanna come up?" He asks.

"Sure... but tell your boys to let me in this time," I say.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, I'll be right up,"

We hang up with each other and I switch off the T.V , running over to the mirror and making sure everything still looks as it should. The black smoky eye shadow I decided to go with seems to be hiding the bruise well, so at least I wont be asked any questions on that. I fluff my curls a bit as they fall down around my shoulders, adjust my Pantera shirt once again making sure my cleavage looks amazing and I head out the door.

A few minutes later I emerge from the elevator and turn the corner again to see those two big goons down at the end of the hall standing in front of the door laughing and carrying on.

"Awe... look who it is again, c'mon sweetie you know we're not going to let you in," The big fat one says again with a stupid smirk on his face.

"I'm Andi... Chris invited me so, I think you are going to let me in," I say.

"You're Andi? Shit... why didn't you say so the first time?" The quiet one says this time.

"I did," I say flatly. They look back and forth between each other then look back at me obviously feeling guilty that they turned me away the first time.

"We're uh, sorry sweetie... you can go right in," The quiet one says as he steps aside. I give him a nod and the fatter one says nothing as I walk through the door.

Inside, there were a ton of people laughing and having fun with a haze of smoke through the air. I knew since it was a party that there would be lots of people but I didn't think there were going to be this many. It sounded like the new record was playing and I could hear Chris's voice over the sound system.

As I nonchalantly make my way through the crowd, I see Chris sitting on one of the couches with an acoustic guitar across his lap and couple of his band mates around him, along with a few girls that sat opposite of them all that seemed to just be hanging out and talking with each other. I think the tall dark haired guy was Kim and the blonde was Matt. I haven't met them but I remember them from that night at the bar and their videos that play on MTV.

I could feel my nervousness creeping back up again and I desperately need a drink. It's crazy that I don't remember being nervous the night that we... well...

I see Kim lean into Chris and point towards me which made my cheeks flush a bit. Chris looks up from his guitar but still plucks the strings and plays a few chords, his eyebrow raised with a smile slowly spreading across those beautiful lips as his blue eyes glance over my body, landing at my chest for a moment and then back up to my eyes.

"Hi," He says sweetly as I approach the couches.

"Hi," I smile back.

"I'm glad you made it... have a seat," He says, his voice cracking a bit as he gestures to the empty chair that sat beside him. I take his lead and sit down in the chair flipping my curls out of my face as I fight the craving for a cigarette.

"That's uh, Kim... and Matt over there... I have no idea where Ben is though," Chris gestures to Kim and Matt and they give me a wave and a nod. Then someone passes me a beer though I'm not sure who, I thank them and take a sip.

"So uh, how you been?" Chris asks as he flips his curls out of his face and removes the guitar from his lap and leans it against the back of the couch.

"Alright, I guess," I say and take a sip of my beer as I let my eyes wonder over him, wanting to see what was under his black 90 logo T-shirt and those black baggy shorts of his again.

"Better than earlier?" He asks with a smirk. I give him a confused look, then I remember how I ran into him today.

"Oh yea... that... sorry about that," I say and trace my thumb along the label of my beer.

"It's ok, you don't need to be sorry... I just wanted to make sure you're ok,"

"Yea, I'm ok... on to the next," I say looking at my beer for a moment hoping he doesn't ask any more questions. I glance back at him and he looks at me with those damn eyes again. Those eyes that seem to want to either feel sorry for me or save me, I couldn't tell which.

"You uh, living out here now?" Chris asks as he reaches for his beer that sat on the square coffee table in front of us, then sits back resting his leg across his knee and takes a sip.

"Not exactly..." I trail off and take another sip.

"Still running?" He raises his eyebrow at me as that question hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks.

"It's a long story," I say when I finish my sip and he nods. His eyes flick over me and there was that empty space between us again.

"I guess that's why I couldn't reach you," Chris says and looks down at his beer bottle.

"You tried to call me?" I ask in slight disbelief.

"Of course... but uh, the number was disconnected..." Chris flicks his eyes back to me. I didn't know how to tell him that I never made it to Vegas.

"Oh," Was all I could say.

"I thought maybe you gave me a fake number or something," Chris chuckles.

"No, no it wasn't a fake number... I uh, well that morning we left each other, I tried to catch up with you in Seattle..."

"Really?" Chris smiles.

"Yea, but some stupid state trooper idiot pulled me over... speeding I guess... he wrote me up big time though..." I say looking at my beer and trailing my thumb along the label again as Chris smirks and takes a sip of his beer.

"You still driving the Charger?" He asks.

"Yea... she's my baby," I smile at him.

"She's one hell of a gorgeous car," He says.

"Yea... I spent all my savings to buy her. The only thing in my life that hasn't let me down," I say looking back down at my beer, not realizing that I said it as loud as I did and Chris's expression hardens a little.

There was some more silence between us though the party raged on around us and I was starting to get the feeling that I should really just head back to my room. As much as I want to be around Chris, I'm also wanting to slump into a corner of the room and hide away from everyone.

"Come with me," Chris says breaking me out of my thoughts for a moment, leaning over to me and stroking my bare calf with his hand, feeling his heat, reminding me of that night. I make a move, setting my beer down, rising from the chair as he rises from the couch and leads the way, his curls swaying with his movements, his boots thudding against the carpeted grand hotel suite. He leads me through more people, to the large sliding glass doors and out onto the large balcony overlooking downtown L.A.

The air was only slightly cooler than earlier with a gentle breeze blowing through. I follow him up to the railing of the balcony as we both lean out to look at the streets below.

"I uh, thought it'd be better out here... you looked like you were wanting to get away... or something," He says leaning back on the railing and pulling out a cigarette to light it up.

"I'm ok," I say as I look down at the street below. He takes a drag of his cigarette and looks at me, his eyes squinting from the smoke.

"So, that asshole earlier give you that as a going away present?" Chris asks with the cigarette between his lips, gesturing to the bruise under my eye. Once again he somehow knows the questions to ask that hit me hard, practically knocking the wind out of me. I honestly thought I'd covered it up enough, but apparently not. I look at him and reach up, taking the cigarette from his lips and take a drag for myself and stay silent.

"Look... why don't we get outta here for a little bit?" Chris asks as he looks back towards the party as I exhale a cloud of smoke and I suddenly couldn't resist that offer.

"Where...?" I say keeping my eyes on him, taking another drag and flipping my curls out of my face.

"How about we go for a ride?" He looks back at me with a sweet smile and I couldn't help but smirk at him.

"Sure, but I'm driving this time..." I say as I take another drag of the cigarette and pass it back to him. He chuckles as he takes a drag of the cigarette as I turn to head back through the sliding glass doors while he watches me for a second, then follows behind me. I walk through the crowd of people and Chris follows, stopping for a moment to say something to Kim but I couldn't hear over the music. I glance at them as they talk for a minute, tap each other on the shoulder then Chris turns to walk back up to me.

"Let's go," He says sweetly to me and suddenly reaches for my hand taking the last drag of the cigarette and quickly butting it out in an ashtray as he leads me towards the door. His hand feels so warm and soft as he held mine, lacing his fingers through, feeling his suede leather wrist band brush against my wrist. As soon as I felt the warmth of his hand, my entire body was alive with anticipation of him touching me again like that night in the Mojave Desert.

We make our way down the hall towards the elevators and I look back for a second to see those two goons still guarding the door but didn't even bat an eye as I leave with Chris. The entire time we were in the elevator, we didn't say anything, but I could feel his blue eyes looking over me as if they were burning into my soul again. The elevator eventually stopped at the underground parking garage inside the hotel and I take the lead as Chris follows me to where my car was parked. Once we climb in my car, I start the engine and suddenly Type O Negative's Slow Deep And Hard album comes through my stereo, right at the part in the song Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty of Infidelity where Peter starts killing the girl and there's nothing but screaming and then obvious sounds of fucking.

"Shit... sorry," I say and quickly turn down the stereo, my cheeks burning as Chris looks at me with his eyebrow raised then starts to laugh.

"It's alright... you don't have to turn it down," Chris chuckles as it changes into 'I Know You're Fucking Someone Else'

"You went to L'amour Saturday night  
Red nails and lipstick dressed two sizes two tight  
His tongue down your throat  
His hand up your skirt  
Yeah I'm a man  
But it still hurts"

Why did it have to be that song?

"Um, how about some... Sepultura instead?" I say as I reach into the glove compartment and pull out Sepultura's Arise album and quickly stop Type O Negative. Chris says nothing and just looks at me as I switch the cassettes.

Much better.

Chris then just gives me a smirk, as I pull out of the parking spot, switching gears and we make our way out of the hotel car garage.

"So, what made you want to leave your own party?" I ask.

"Pfff... it's just a record release party... it's the record label that's throwing it not the band... I mean... I just wanted to spend some time with you instead," He says flicking his eyes back to me and I softly smile at him.

"Did you have some place in mind?" I ask as I take us down the streets of L.A.

"Honestly... not really,"

"Um... well I know a place we can go... it's a bit of a drive but... if you feel like it?,"

"Sure," He smiles at me and I drive us through the streets of L.A, towards Santa Monica. I know a couple of private spots along the beach that would be perfect for us.


	4. Four

Los Angeles California, Santa Monica Beach September 24 1991

The entire drive, we keep quiet as Sepultura blasts through the speakers but I honestly was struggling to come up with anything to say. The first night we met, we made the usual small talk about current events and such, but I feel like there's still this awkward empty space between us.

We eventually pull up to the beach and park in a secluded area and I climb out of the drivers seat while Chris watches me for a couple of moments. I then sit myself up on the hood of my car and light up a cigarette as Chris climbs out of the passenger side, closes the door and joins me.

Ok Andrea... maybe just open up just a little bit...

"You can really see the stars out here without all the light pollution from the city... It's uh, one of my favorite spots to come to at night lately...It's usually when I can't sleep so I just come out here and listen to the waves... look up at the stars... pretend I'm somewhere else," I explain as I look up at the sky and pass him the cigarette. He keeps his eyes on me as he takes a drag from the cigarette.

"And forget who you are?" He asks quietly.

Looking out into the darkness I suddenly become quiet again, feeling all of the hurt and pain I've been keeping inside and desperately trying to hold it together.

"Yea... pretty much," I giggle a nervous laugh as I look back at him for a moment with my hands tucked under my thighs, leaning forward just a little. Chris then moves his hand to brush a curl from my face and slowly leans into me to press his lips to mine, but instead I move away just in time and slide myself off the hood of the car. He watches me while I move around to stand in between his legs, his feet resting on the bumper as he flips those gorgeous curls out of his face, taking one last drag of the cigarette and flicking it somewhere.

"Look Andi... we don't have to do anything... we can just sit here and listen to the waves if you want... I really just wanted to spend some time with you, that's all... we don't even have to talk if you don't want to..." Chris says leaning forward a little as we both look into each others eyes. His voice was so comforting it almost made me want to spill everything that I've been holding inside, but I know I can't. He doesn't need to be burdened with the mess that is my life. I smirk a little and look down at myself for a moment, turn and look out into the darkness of the beach and back at him.

"I don't know about you, but I'm finding it a little warm out here," I say and he raises his eyebrow at me. I reach for the bottom of my shirt and lift it up over my head, revealing my black lacy bra as my curls fall down around my shoulders. Tossing my shirt onto the hood of my car, I then remove my skirt from my hips, revealing my black thong panties and toss it up onto the hood of my car.

"Andi...?" Chris chuckles watching my every move as I quickly untie my Doc's and remove them with my socks setting them aside in the sand. I then turn and walk down towards the shore feeling Chris's eyes watching me the entire time, getting the best view of my butt though he remains seated on the hood of my car.

"Well... you joining me? Or what?" I tease turning back to him, flipping my curls out of my face as the breeze blows through. From where I was standing I could see him shake his head and for a moment I thought he meant that he wasn't going to join me in the water, but then I see him quickly untying his Doc's, removing them setting them aside with mine, then hopping down off the hood of my car, lifting his shirt over his head revealing that beautiful body of his as his curls fall down around and slightly passed his shoulders. The mere sight of him instantly sent a sensation straight to my core and I bit my bottom lip to contain myself.

I stand with my hands on my hips as he unbuckles his belt, sliding of his black baggy shorts, revealing his black boxers and tossing them up on the hood of my car. As he starts to walk towards me I turn and make my way into the water, the cold ocean saltwater making me gasp and squeal, taking my breath away, but I continue anyways.

"You're fucking crazy you know that?" Chris laughs at my sounds.

"Uh... huh..." I shiver, as I walk further out, the water now up just over my knees. I then hear Chris walking into the water behind me and I turn around to see the slyest smirk on his face.

"If you need to get used to the water, I have an idea..." He says low and teasingly.

"Don't you even think about it," I laugh as I point at him.

"You said you were finding it a little warm out here," He raises his eyebrow, smirking as he moves closer to me leaning down and putting his hands in the water. Instead, I reach down into the water with my hands and splash the water over him.

"What the - ?" He gasps a little at the cold water hitting him.

"Ha! got you first, " I laugh.

"Oh so that's how we're going to play it then?" He smirks so slyly. I start to laugh even harder as I quickly move away from him, squealing as he chases me then finally, he splashes the cold water over me. I let out a loud gasp again, squealing as the cold water runs down my body.

"What...? You can splash it but you can't take it?" He jokes sarcastically.

"That's it," I reply playfully and scoop up more water and splash him right back. He starts to laugh even harder as I quickly run away from him, squealing and laughing as he chases me again.

"You get back here," He laughs.

"Fuck no!" I squeal and laugh, turning around quickly and splashing him again. Then just as I was about to swiftly move out of his reach, he grabs me around my waist just as I was in mid run. 

"Ha! caught you!" He exclaims and I yelp in laughter, trying to catch my breath. We stumble a little laughing hysterically as I turn in his arms to face him.

Almost immediately our laughing calms down as his eyes look into mine. He leans down to me and this time I didn't try to stop him as his lips connected with mine, feeling so amazingly good as his tongue swipes across my bottom lip. I deepen the kiss, becoming aggressive as the hunger inside me attempts to get out. His hands move up my back holding me tighter to him as I reach up threading my fingers through his wet curls, hungrily devouring his lips with mine, sucking his bottom lip. I can feel his excitement quickly growing as I press my body against his, never wanting to let go.

"Fuck," He pants, parting his lips from mine for just a second to catch his breath.

"I think we should," I say and he crashes his lips to mine once more, but just as he swipes his tongue across my bottom lip again, I break away, moving down to my knees as the water is now just passed my hips, and I could see just how hard he really was under his boxers. I couldn't help myself. I had visions of him in my mouth and I needed to make those visions come to life.

I pulled his boxers down over his hips, his erection springing out before me. He was as hard as hard could be and it looked painful. Even though it was dark with the only light being the full moon, I could still make out every inch of him down to the tip which was swollen, looking like it was begging to be touched or sucked. Before he could even react, I grabbed him in my hand, squeezed just a little and closed my mouth around him, giving him one good suck before releasing him.

"Holy, fuck,"

I went back to him, closing my mouth around the tip again, and slowly using my hand to stroke whatever I couldn't get in my mouth. My tongue circled and played, licking him as much as I could while I moved my head back and forth. I flicked my eyes open just for a moment to look up at him to see his hands covering his eyes for a moment, then running his fingers through his roots as I became more determined than before.

"Jeezus fuck, don't fucking stop," He moans.

I could feel him twitch a few times and as I hollowed out my cheeks, my other hand that wasn't preoccupied with his cock, moved to his butt to help me maintain some leverage. He started thrust as I continue to work him and after a few minutes of him moaning, sounding like he was trying to stifle it though I encouraged with my tongue to just let it out, I could feel him twitch again. Every single sound he makes only inflames me even more, but I will have to wait... this is only for him.

This is it, I can tell he's about to go...

"Shit... I'm gonna fucking cum," He says aggressively, his voice low, deep and so sexy. With that, he explodes in my mouth, groaning and growling as he does so while I move my hand from the base of him up over his abs, to his stomach, soothing him through his orgasm sucking every last drop.

He looks down at me as I finally let him go, collapsing back on my hands as the cold water rushes over me while I attempt to catch my breath, desperately needing a drink of some sort. It's been a while since I've done that and I don't mind swallowing, it's just the after taste that bothers me.

Chris pulls up his boxers, out of breath himself and he moves down over me with the most satisfied smile spread across his lips.

"Sounded like... you needed... that," I pant.

"You have no idea..." He chuckles and I giggle, quickly turning and moving away from him, rising from the water as Chris attempts to catch me again, though I'm a little too quick for him.

"Get... back...here!" He laughs panting reaching out to me as I run to shore. He finally gets to his feet, laughing as he chases after me again while I make my way back to my car. Once again he ends up catching me in his arms and I turn to face him once more, his lips crashing to mine. It surprised me at first cause I was thinking he wouldn't want to kiss me after that but he seemed to not care at all as his tongue hungrily thrusts into my mouth. I moan against his lips as my fingers find their way in his wet curls again and he lifts me up, his arms bracing me just under my butt as I wrap my legs around his waist.

Sucking his bottom lip again he carries me over to my car, setting me down on the hood and parting his lips from mine for a moment, while I move myself back a bit, my feet resting on the bumper.

"I... am going to fuck you... on the hood of your car," He says which made my eyes grow wide for a moment and bite my bottom lip. I honestly didn't think he was going to be so demanding and I have to say that it was turning me on like no other. I flip my wet curls out of my face as he instructs me to lay back on the hood of the car, his eyes never leaving me as they wander all over my body. His hands touch my thighs and move up to my hips as he stands between my legs. He hooks his fingers in the rim of my panties and pulls them down, removing them from me and setting them aside.

"Spread your arms wide, and don't move them," He instructs with his voice full of lust. I shut my eyes tightly and spread my arms out waiting in anticipation suddenly feeling vulnerable and out of control which scared me a little. I thought maybe he was about to impale me but instead he moved his hands up my thighs, spreading my legs open exposing more of my center to him. His fingers brushed so teasingly over my clit and up over my stomach, stopping at my ribs as his lips make contact with my stomach, placing soft gentle kisses, his lips feeling like they are barely touching me. The gentle sensation which I am not used to started to feel ticklish which made me want to close my legs.

"Keep them open," He commands as his lips brush across my skin with his words.

"But... you're... tickling me," I breathe, biting my bottom lip trying to contain my giggles.

"Well I guess I'm just going to have to fix that then," He says, his lips still brushing my skin with his words. He moves lower, his lips trailing down. All I want to do is close my legs and get away from him but instead he immediately turns his attention to my clit, moving his hands and using his thumbs to part my lips as he begins to suck and flick my clit with his tongue, immediately taking my breath away.

"Uhhhh...." Was all I could get out, whining, as I let him take me over. I started to think about the first time he ate me all those months ago in the Mojave Desert and he was even better this time.

His tongue swirled perfectly around my throbbing clit, his fingers softly touching my slit but not actually going inside me as he intermittently sucked, feeling like he was pulling everything out of me. I arched my back as he would stop sucking for a moment, flicking his tongue again, making me jolt.

"Oh fuck... Chris!," I whimper.

"Keep those arms outstretched," He reminds me, stopping for a second.

"Shit... please don't fucking stop,"

He went back to sucking and licking my clit as I try to hold on for as long as I can, never ever wanting it to end.

His hands move to hold on to my thighs as he continues to flick his tongue making me quiver all over. Every muscle felt taut and stretched as I lifted my hips upward towards his hungry mouth, not relenting one bit. He was intent on bringing me to the edge and letting me hang. Each time I could feel it rising, he would sense it and pull back, doing that over and over until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Chris... I'm gonna fucking cum..." I cry, not even recognizing the sound of my voice as the orgasm that I had been waiting for erupted all over. Just as soon as the intense part of the orgasm stopped but I was still going, he pulled his face away from me, hauled me across the hood of my car until my butt was almost hanging off. Before I even knew what was happening, he pushed himself deep inside me making me cry out in surprise and pleasure all rolled into one.

"Yes! Jeezus fucking Christ... you are so fucking goddamn wet," He growls, his voice filled with lust as he thrusts into me over and over again. I moan even louder than before watching his reaction, his curls still wet, slightly matted to his face, his chest flexing as he thrusts into me.

"Fuck I'm close," He pants.

"Do it... just... fucking do it," I plead. He grips my hip with his one hand, his other moving up over my breasts, to the nape of my neck and threading his fingers through my roots and giving me a good grip as he leans over me.

"Cum with me," He whispers low and huskily in my ear and with that, I exploded, crying out as he spills his seed inside me.

*****

A little while later, I was in the driver seat examining myself in the sun visor mirror with Type O Negative playing through the stereo. My make-up was obviously smudge all to hell, almost making me look like a goth girl and that bruise under my eye was definitely not doing me any favors. I groan a little reaching into the back seat for my travel make-up bag hoping I packed something to fix this mess on my face.

"Water-proof my ass," I say to myself as I fish around inside the bag. I pull out my black eyeliner with the smudger on the other side and touch up what I could, then pull out a brush and some powder to try to cover up the rest of the bruise while Chris was off somewhere taking a piss.

"Anger burning me... Anger turning me...Into someone I don't know..." I sing along with Peter.

Oh Peter... I'm right there with you.

A few minutes later I see Chris emerge from the darkness, heading towards my car, a cigarette between his lips, his eyes squinting from the smoke as he buckles up the belt to his shorts and fixes his black 90 t-shirt. I smirk to myself for a moment, though I'm not sure why but he's just so fucking gorgeous. I clear my throat, shaking the thought away and go back to touching up my make-up.

"Kill you...Kill you...Punishment...Kill you..." I sing along, still grooving a little as Chris flicks the cigarette somewhere, opens the passenger door, climbing inside. He looks at me for a moment and starts to chuckle flipping his damp curls out of his face.

"Sorry I was uh, getting carried away I guess," I say as I pack up my travel bag and set in in the back seat again, then looking in the mirror once more and touching up around my eye.

"Don't be sorry... it's cute," He smiles at me. I turn and look at him raising my eyebrow.

"I mean that it's cute how you were singing along..." He tries to catch himself but fails miserably. I smirk at him as he keeps his eyes on me and we just sit there for a minute while the music plays.

"Um, it's uh, pretty late... so maybe we should head back to the Hotel?" I ask clearing my throat and flipping up the sun visor.

"Uh, yea... sure" He says looking away and flipping his curls out of his face again. I glance back at him for a moment and I wasn't sure exactly what to say so instead I turn the ignition, the engine roaring beneath me, pulling out from our spot on the beach and making the drive back to downtown L.A.


	5. Five

Los Angeles California, September 24 1991

We arrive back at the Hotel and I make my way through the parking garage, finding my original spot still vacant and park.

We both climb out of the car and make our way to the elevators, feeling like it was an eternity waiting for it to pick us up.

"I think I have sand in places where I shouldn't have sand," Chris chuckles breaking the silence, looking down at himself as we stand in the elevator waiting to go to my floor. I push my curls out of my eyes and look up at him, noticing there was some left over sand on his shirt. I reach up and touch his chest brushing some of the sand away and he looks down at me, his gorgeous blue eyes gleaming in the dim elevator light.

"Sorry, you just... had some... there," I say quietly and I stop.

"Thanks," He says quietly and smiles at me as the elevator dings indicating it's my floor.

"Well... this is me... " I say gesturing to the doors as they open and step towards them.

"Here, I'll walk you," He says sweetly and follows me out the elevator doors.

We walk down the hall for a little bit, still not saying anything and eventually we arrive at my door.

"I should go and clean myself up but... do you um... want to join me in my room in a little bit?" He says after a few minutes, flipping those gorgeous curls out of his face.

"Sure," I softly smile at him.

"Really?" He smiles at me.

"Yea really," I giggle. He gives me another smile and turns to walk down the hallway back to the elevators.

"Chris!" I call after him.

"Yea?" He asks turning back to look at me.

"What's your room number?" I giggle.

"525," He replies.

"Ok," I giggle as he turns back to disappear off to the elevators and I head inside my room to take a quick shower and change into something to sleep in.

****

Not even 20 minutes later I finished my shower and changed into a plain black spaghetti strap tank top and pair of black satin pajama shorts that had a small slit up the sides and were so short, you could see the bottom of my butt cheeks.

I honestly didn't have anything else with me.

I left my dark hair down with my curls around my shoulders and slipped a hair tie over my wrist just in case. I pulled out some perfume from my bag and spritzed a little bit, the scent emitting sweet chocolate, musk and caramel notes. I take one last look in the mirror making sure I look alright and immediately notice that bruise under my eye from earlier. I debated on putting some make up on to cover it up but it's not good to sleep in make-up. I hope Chris doesn't ask me about it again.

I take in a deep breath and exhale to calm my nerves a bit, then make my way out the door locking it behind me. Once I arrive at his floor, stepping off the elevator, I walk softly down the hallway in my bare feet, trailing my hand along the wall, turning the corner and seeing his room number down at the end of the hallway. I have no idea why but my heart started pounding at the thought of sharing a bed with him tonight. It made me think of spending that night with him in the van with his arms wrapped around me and holding me like he was the only thing in the world that could keep me safe.

Walking slowly down the hallway, checking behind me to make sure no one was around, I arrive at his door and softly tap the door knocker. A few minutes go by and I hear nothing from the other side. Giving a concerned look, I tap the door knocker a little louder and wait for a few more moments.

"C'mon, I'm about to lose my nerve here," I say quietly to myself as I stand in front of his door. I take in another deep breath and exhale as I tap the door knocker one last time. I started to hear some rustling and walking around then the doorknob turns.

"Hi.. sorry I was out on the balcony having a smoke..." Chris says as he stands in front of me wearing only a pair of black drawstring track pants that were tied up only to his hips. My heart felt like it was skipping a beat as I quickly glance over his chest and down to his abs.

"That's ok,"

He steps aside and I step through the door as he closes it behind me. I look around the room and it pretty much looked exactly like mine, only with a bigger bed.

"If you want, I can throw on the T.V or something... or..." He trails off and I could feel his eyes wandering over my body from behind

"Nah... but that bed looks pretty comfortable," I say and I hear him chuckle as I walk over to the bed and climb up on my knees.

"Well, you gonna join me or what?" I say playfully flipping my curls out of my face and looking back at him. He gives me that sexy smirk, playing with his beard and walks over towards me, climbing up on the bed, kneeling with me. He grabs my hips, leaning into me, then moves his one hand up to my shoulder, brushing my curls away, placing his lips on the spot just under my earlobe.

"Oh my god, you smell so amazing," He says low in my ear, his beard tickling me as he moves his lips down to my shoulder. I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes as his hands move from my hips down to my butt, his fingers playing with the bottom of my shorts, barely brushing my skin.

"And these... I really like these..." He chuckles a little and I giggle as he brushes his lips back up to my earlobe. I keep my eyes closed as his lips play with my ear, then softly move to my temple as I place my hands on his firm toned chest, feeling him flex a little under my touch. I move my hands down just a little as his lips place soft kisses on my cheek and for some reason, he hesitates for a second.

He pulls away, his hands moving up and framing my face forcing me to look at him, his thumb tracing gently along the bruise that was under my eye, I close my eyes for a second furrowing my brow feeling like I can't look at him. Just when I thought he was going to say something about it, his lips brush mine, softly hesitating at first, then pressing his lips to mine even more so.

I respond to him, and just like that night in the desert, the kiss deepens becoming soulful, long and passionate. It wasn't aggressive or needy like the way I kissed him earlier when we were in the water, it was soft, gentle and loving. Something I haven't had since that night in the desert.

"Chris - "

"Shhhh..." He hushes me and continues softly moving his lips with mine and guides me to lay down on the bed with him over top of me, his hand moving to my hip and down to my thigh wrapping my leg around his hip. His fingers play with the bottom rim of my shorts again and every once and a while moving up under them to softly caress my butt cheek.

My hands move over his chest and up to his curls, my fingers threading through at first, then gently playing with his curls while his lips continue to passionately kiss mine, soulfully and lovingly. His hand moves from my butt up over my hip to my side, finally reaching my breast as his fingers brush over my nipple that instantly sprang to life through the thin fabric of my shirt.

I softly sigh against his lips as he plays with my nipple teasing me through my shirt and he parts his lips from mine for a moment glancing down, pulling down the strap of my shirt revealing my naked breast to him. Without hesitating, he brushes his thumb across my nipple before placing his lips around, gently flicking his tongue in exactly the same way he did with my clit earlier on the hood of my car. Then after a few minutes of him doing that, making me bite my lip to try to stay quiet, he switches, pulling the other side of my shirt down, placing his lips on my other nipple as to not let it get lonely.

I arch my back just a little, closing my eyes with my breath hitching as he continues to work his magic but then he stops for a second and brushes his lips across my nipple, using his beard to tickle me. I smirk for a moment and I could feel him grin as he continues to tickle. I giggle trying to bite my lip to stop myself and he chuckles.

"Chris,"

"Yes?" He smiles though his beard still brushes my skin.

"That... you... you're tickling me," I try to hold my laugh.

"I know, " He chuckles.

"Can you stop?" I laugh.

"But I like hearing you laugh," He says so sweetly and places his lips on my nipple again, then trails his lips between my breasts and up my chest, softly kissing up to my throat as I tilt my head back. He then brings his hands up to frame my face, forcing me to look at him again as he brushes some of my curls away from my face.

It was at this moment that I once again could feel something change between us. I can't quite put my finger on it but it was the same feeling that night in the desert. I don't know what it is but it's scaring the shit out of me and I'm doing everything I can to stop myself from pulling away from him and running like a bat out of hell out of his room. But as he looks into my eyes, his gorgeous blues gleaming in the softly lit hotel room, I had that same safe feeling that happened back in the desert. The feeling that whatever the world is throwing at me right now, he is here to keep me from it.

Without saying a word, he presses his lips to mine once more, gentle sweet and loving as he holds me in his arms. We continued on like that for a while, making out like we were a couple of teenagers. It was something hadn't experienced - well since I was a teenager - and I didn't want it to end.

I spent the night sharing his bed and falling asleep wrapped up in his arms and once the early light of dawn began to pour through the sliding glass doors, I opened my eyes to see him with his face half buried in the pillow, his curls strewn across and his arm still across my body, his hand holding onto my hip. I watch him sleep for a little while, his brow twitching every once and a while as he dreams. Suddenly his eyes flutter open and a smile slowly spreads across his lips

"Hi," He says his voice groggy and full of sleep.

"Hi,"

He moves and looks up at the clock on the beside table and then lays his head back down facing me again.

"It's early," He says.

"Yea... I uh, should get going though... let you get on with your day..." I say.

"It's alright, you don't have to leave yet, I still have a few hours before I have to head out on the road," He says

"Concert or something?"

"Sort of, we gotta head back home and pack for the tour... we're uh, heading out for the next few months..." He yawns and then closes his eyes. After a few moments he flicks his eyes open to look at me again.

"So um... what's next for you?" He asks as he glances over my body.

"Me? I have no idea... I guess just anywhere my car will take me,"

He flicks his eyes back up to mine and it looks like he's trying to think of something.

"What?" I ask. It looked like he wanted to say something.

"It's nothing... forget it," He says with a nervous laugh and I just give him a small smile instead.

A short while later I convinced him that I had to get back to my room. I needed to pack and figure out where I was going to next. Chris was sweet and walked me to my room and lucky for us, no one saw me still in my pajamas.

"I uh, had an amazing time with you last night," Chris says standing with me at my hotel room door clothed in a black button up shirt and black baggy shorts, the same thing he wore the first night we met.

"Me too... I mean I had an amazing time with you too," I say, my voice breaking as I struggle to unlock the door. I could feel tears sting my eyes and I couldn't bare to look up at him.

"Oh, Andi... please don't..." He trails off reaching up to cup my face in his palm but I move away a little, willing the tears away.

"I'm fine really... it's... I'm fine," I say and I finally get the door open. I go to step inside and he reaches for my arm.

"Never forget... " He says turning me to face him for a moment. I was too choked up to tell him so I just pulled away and went in my room and closed the door leaning my back against it panting, willing myself to not break down.

What are you doing? What the serious fuck are you doing? Go after him you idiot!

I quickly turn around and open the door to go after him but I was too late, he was gone.


	6. Six

Brooklyn, New York January 23 1992

It was a Friday night and the alcohol flowing freely with the weather as perfect as it could be despite it being the middle of winter. It was just after midnight, making it officially my birthday and I was celebrating my 27th year at one of the rock clubs called L'Amour. I had made a few friends since settling here for the time being, renting a tiny one bedroom apartment just a few blocks from here, which was really more like a bachelor apartment since it's all I can afford right now.

The guy that was sitting next to me, who I think he said his name was Ryan, seemed to have about ten hands because they were constantly trying to touch me, despite my meager attempts to stop him, though I really didn't want him to stop, I just didn't want him to think I was too easy. He was amazingly hot, tall, covered in tattoos with a big chest and biceps that you could pretty much bounce a rock off of them, his hair long and dark, his eyes blue, and he wore a Pantera band shirt that seemed two sizes too small just so that he could show off that chest and arms of his.

He was definitely intimidating, and well versed in flirting, knowing all the right things to say to get me going as I carried on drinking shots of Jack Daniels.

"So darlin', feel like maybe heading somewhere else?" He flirts, brushing my curls off my shoulder, leaning into my ear and sliding his big hand up my bare thigh. I swear he could probably swallow me whole with those hands.

"Um, I don't know yet... I'm kinda having a good time here," I say sweetly.

"If you leave with me, I could show you an even better time," He teases, sliding his hand further up my thigh as he moves to place his lips to that spot just under my ear, but instead I place my hands on his chest, pushing him away.

I was horny as all hell but I wanted to get as drunk as I could get first. I ordered another two shots and downed them as quickly as I could while Ryan sips his beer, his eyes never leaving me, looking like he was about to eat me up right on the spot.

"You sure know how to sip that whiskey... but I think you might like sipping on something else more," He teases again leaning into me. I swear to god I could feel that tingling sensation going straight to my core at the thought of a man having his way with me. It's been months since I've been touched, let alone kissed but the drunker I started to become, I wasn't so sure I wanted to leave with Ryan anymore.

"I uh, just need to use the ladies room," I say sweetly. I honestly just needed a minute away from him but I also really needed to empty my bladder. I swiftly hop off the bar stool, flipping my dark curls out of my face as Ryan eyes flick over my body, watching me walk to the ladies room.

Once I emptied my bladder, instantly I could feel myself become more drunk than I was just a few minutes ago. I staggered just a little to the mirror to check myself, making sure my curls looked alright, straightening out my Black Sabbath - Master Of Reality tank top that I made, showing my cleavage in the most perfect way and adjusting my ripped denim mini skirt. I stayed in the bathroom for a little while longer to give myself a little more time before trying to sneak away from Ryan and just heading home.

I didn't really want to go home but I wasn't sure how to lose Ryan and still carry on with my drinking.

As I walk out of the bathroom and head down the long dark corridor, I see Ryan approaching me and he stops me dead in my tracks.

"I was wonderin' when you were gonna come outta there," He smiles as he grabs my hips and presses me against him.

"Yea, sorry I just really had to go," I say placing my hands on his chest, feeling just how toned he was under my touch.

"So don't you think it's about time we get outta here and head to my place?" He says as he leans down to me.

"I actually wanted to stay and have a few more drinks," I give him a smile.

"I got all the drinks you'll ever need at my place," He says as he presses me even closer to him.

"But, I really like the drinks here," I say trying to flirt my way out of this.

"I think you'll like them even more at my place," He counters which made me feel a little intimidated.

"I don't think so," I try to say sweetly.

"I do... think so," Ryan says and pushes me up against the wall, his one hand still gripping my hip and his other leaning on the wall as he towers over me.

"Hey!"

I suddenly hear a familiar voice as Ryan turns to look at where it was coming from.

"Mind your business," Ryan says and turns back to me.

"I think it is my business when it's my girl you're trying to get with,"

Wait, what? Who? What the Fuck?

"She ain't your girl right now brother," Ryan says turning back to the voice while I peak around him to see just who it was. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Chris Cornell.

"Yea, well that usually happens when we fight... C'mon babe... Let's get you home," Chris gives me a wink.

"You got a boyfriend?" Ryan asks turning back to me.

"Uh, yea," I give a nervous smile and play along. Ryan slowly backs off and looks at Chris who was maybe only just half an inch shorter than Ryan.

"Fucking tease," Ryan mutters under his breath and turns towards the bar, grabbing his jacket then heading out the door. I stand there looking at Chris completely dumbfounded that he is standing right here in front of me.

God he's fucking gorgeous with his dark curls down just passed his shoulders, that perfectly trimmed beard and those blue eyes that seem to look straight into my soul. He wore a light brown jacket over a military green button up shirt that he left unbuttoned, his necklaces laying perfectly against his smooth bare chest with military green pants which actually made his blue eyes look more green in contrast.

A part of me wanted to run into his arms so he could hold me and make me feel safe from the world but another part of me wishes that I had a drink just so that I could throw it in his face.

"Hi," Chris says sweetly but I still just look at him with no reaction at all. I peel myself away from the wall as his smile slowly fades and walk passed him without a word.

"Andi - "

"Don't," I cut him off as I head back up to the bar, a little wobbly but I'm able to maintain myself. I order one more shot, down it, pay my tab and let my friends know I'm heading home.

"Andi...?" Chris asks again behind me but I grab my leather jacket and head towards the doors. Once I stumble a little out on to the side walk, the chilly January air hitting me, the drunkenness really was in full force at this point. I quickly throw my jacket on pulling out my curls from underneath and letting them fall around my shoulders, then pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one up.

"Andi, What the fuck? Hey... wait a minute," Chris calls but I continue up the sidewalk

"No," I slur taking a drag of my cigarette.

"No? What do you mean no?" He chuckles as he continues to follow me but I say nothing.

"Andrea," Chris says again, this time grabbing my arm to stop me and turns me to face him.

"I was perfectly fucking fine handling that guy on my own. I didn't need you to swoop in and rescue me!" I exclaim, trying hard to keep my composure but it was no use. I was pissed.

"Andi I - "

"I haven't heard from you in months... and you expect me to fucking fall at your feet, thanking you or something?" I slur as I try to keep my balance.

I was so fucking angry and so fucking horny all at the same time that I couldn't decide whether to yell at him or fuck him right in the snow on the sidewalk.

"Andi -" Chris furrows his brow as those eyes try to find mine but they were already clouded with the tears that were welling up.

"I'm going home," I say turning around trying to stop myself from crying and flicking my cigarette off somewhere, not even offering it to Chris like I used to do and attempt to walk, but stumble profusely when suddenly everything really started to spin...

"Andi... oh Shit!"

Happy fucking Birthday to me...

*****

I woke up sometime in the early morning hours with the bright winter sun pouring through my window shades. I groan turning away covering my head with the pillow, doing everything I can to will away the throbbing from my temples. Without much luck I slowly sit up in bed, squeezing my eyes shut with a mouth full of cotton, desperately needing a drink of water and maybe a good swish of mouthwash.

"Fuck me," I say to myself as my curls fall down around my shoulders, slowly climbing out of bed. I don't even remember how I managed to get myself into bed let alone finding myself only in my lacy red bra with matching red thong panties. I let out another groan holding my head as I try to open my eyes to make my way out of the bedroom to head to the bathroom. Since the bathroom was on the other side of my living room, it felt like it was more like 500 feet away rather than just a few feet since my apartment was so small.

Rubbing my eyes to try to rid the sleep, I slowly head across the living room, yawning as I do so when suddenly I spot a tall figure sleeping only in his black boxer shorts on my couch.

Did I? No... I'd remember if I had sex last night, and it didn't look like that Ron, or Ryan whatever his name was from the bar last night.

To the left there was an overnight duffle bag sitting on the chair which made me wonder just how long does this guy think he staying for and how he thought he could just crash here last night. I thought about maybe saying something but since my eyes were still trying to focus I couldn't make out who it was. He was facing the back of the couch and looked like he needed the sleep so I decided not to disturb him.

I look down at myself for a second, realizing I was still in my bra and panties and quickly head to the washroom so that he doesn't see me. After a little while, realizing that I may need just a bit more sleep, I open up the bathroom door to quietly make my way back to my bed and I see the figure who was previously sleeping on the couch now sitting up and yawning, flipping those beautiful curls out of his face.

Fucking Chris? What the Hell?

"Hi... I was uh, wondering when you were going to make an appearance or else I'd have to come in there and wake you up myself," He yawns as he tries to smile at me, his gorgeous blue eyes glancing over my body.

I stood there in the middle of the room as Chris leans back on the couch, stretching his arms out in front of him, then putting his arms up in the air so that I had the perfect view of him in only his green military pants with every inch of his beautifully toned body on display.

"Um... wait... what?" I say confused and he just smiles at me, with his eyes still glancing over my body. I had completely forgot that I was just standing in my bra and panties still and I look down at myself suddenly feeling a bit shy.

"Um... just give me a second," I say nervously practically darting to my bedroom for something to cover myself up with.

"Andi... you don't have to hide from me you know that right?" Chris calls from the living room as I scramble to find some shorts and a tank top.

"I'm not hiding, I'm just... trying to find something... decent - Hey!" I exclaim cutting myself off as he suddenly appeared at my bedroom door, leaning against the door frame, raising his eyebrow at me as I cover myself with my clothes that I've yet to put on.

"Jeeze Andi, you're acting like I've never seen you before and trust me... I do miss that," He smirks that sexy smirk of his and I couldn't decide whether to kiss him or slap him.

"Christopher Cornell I think it's time you kept your eyes to yourself," I say trying to be serious but that damn smile of his made me giggle anyways. He chuckles and I go back to quickly throwing on a pair of loose drawstring gym shorts that practically showed the bottom of my butt cheeks -god damn that dryer for shrinking them - and a Motley Crue tank, then flip my hair up in a hair clip with my curls bouncing everywhere. I look back at him as he watches me put up my hair, stroking his beard trying to put his eyes back in his head.

"Chris,"

"What?" He asks.

"Can you... maybe... I don't know..." I say not exactly wanting him to leave my room and put a shirt on but he was distracting me and definitely not helping my situation either.

"You don't want me in your room?" He asks.

"No it's not that... just... What are you doing here anyways?" I ask quickly turning to grab my pack of smokes off my dresser and light one up.

"Well after you passed out in the middle of the street last night, I wanted to make sure you were ok," He says.

"I passed out in the street?" I ask in disbelief, exhaling a cloud of smoke, trying to remember what happened.

"Yea, you uh... told me off pretty good and then when you went to walk home, you stumbled and passed out. I caught you going down so you didn't get hurt but you were right out of it... stone cold. I went back in the bar where your friends were to ask them where your house was and brought you home..." He says concerned.

"Wait... I told you off? Why?" I ask not remembering one single thing after using the ladies room at L'Amour.

"You really don't remember?" Chris raises his eyebrows at me as hand him my cigarette walking passed him to the little kitchenette to grab a sport drink and Chris follows me. I shake my head no as I take a long sip.

Oh Gatorade... you are my hangover friend...

"I uh... think I might've cock-blocked you or something... Just a big guy who looked like he was trying to make you do something that you didn't want to..." Chris chuckles taking a drag as he leans on my little counter island. Suddenly the memory of Ryan comes flooding back to me.

"Oh... yea... fuck, I'm sorry," I say looking down at my bottle of Gatorade and setting it down on the counter island.

"It's ok," He says and butts out the cigarette in the ashtray on the counter.

"Fuck, I'm such a fuck up..." I trail off feeling the tears welling up in my eyes as Chris moves towards me.

"Andi... hey.... c'mere," Chris says so comfortingly moving closer and taking me in his arms. I pressed my cheek to his bare chest, inhaling the leftover cologne that remained on his skin and instantly I'm brought back to that night in the desert. That first night we met when all I wanted to do was forget all the hurt and pain I've been through. Even though I'm not exactly running anymore, I still can't seem to break my old habits.

I let him hold me as I continued to cry like a baby. He held me for a while and I never wanted him to let me go. His skin felt so good, warm and smooth as it soothed me like I never thought it would. It had been a really long time since I actually cried and it felt good to let it out, though I felt like a fool for the way I acted last night. At last my tears finally stopped.

"C'mon, let's sit," He says sweetly walking with me over to the couch and we sit together facing each other.

"I'm sorry, I uh... don't mean to be all emotional and shit... I guess I just fucking missed you a lot more than I thought I did," I confess as I lean my head on my hand on the back of the couch, his arm resting on the back of the couch too, reaching up and wiping away a stray tear on my cheek with his thumb.

"Well... I fucking missed you too," He confesses with a chuckle and I giggle. He might as well said 'I love you' because it sounded just as good.

"How did you even find me?" I giggle trying to lighten the mood.

"Well the band's actually playing at L'Amour tomorrow night so I wanted to go and check out the club before heading to the hotel, see what it's like... I honestly had no idea you were even there last night. I just walked in the door when I saw that guy man handle you and shove you up against the wall... I uh, guess I got a little protective," He explains glancing down at himself and brushing something off his thigh. It actually felt really good that he felt the need to protect me.

"Did you drive all the way here?" I ask.

"Uh huh, the uh, van's parked out front... the guys have the other van with all the gear," He says gesturing out my living room window.

"I really didn't mean to overstep on anything if there was anything going on between you two," Chris says as his eyes flick back to mine, his brow furrowing a little while his curls spill across his bare chest.

"No, no there's nothing between me and... Ron er- Ryan. He was just... some guy..." I explain.

"You're not seeing anyone?" He asks.

"No, no... I'm pretty much a dateless wonder over here," I say looking away from him, not wanting to admit that but it just came out.

"Are you?" I ask glancing back at him after a few moments of silence between us.

"No," He exhales making a frown for a second and glances down at himself.

"Really?" I ask with a smirk.

"Yea really... why?" He raises his eyebrow at me.

"No reason... I just thought...you would be... I don't know," I say feeling awkward that I didn't believe him at first.

"There hasn't been anyone since you..." He says looking straight into my eyes and I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter for a few seconds.

"Well just because the band's been so busy... touring with GNR... Interviews... video shoots and stuff like that," He adds looking away and down at himself again. I can't even tell you how a part of me was incredibly happy that there wasn't anyone else, but the fact that there hasn't been anyone but me is a little surprising to me. I mean this is Chris Cornell here. He can have his pick at any girl that will throw themselves at him.

"So... what's it like on the road with Guns N' Roses?" I ask clearing my throat.

"It's pretty cool actually... it's a bit weird sometimes going from playing small clubs one night and then huge stadiums the next but... we seem to be winning over the GNR fans pretty well," Chris chuckles.

"So tomorrow night's not a stadium night then?" I ask.

"No..." Chris smiles at me.

"So uh, it looks like you're doing a lot better than the last time I saw you," Chris says as he looks around the living room.

"Yea a little... it's not much but it's all I can afford right now," I say as I look around with him.

"It came fully furnished so at least I didn't have to buy any furniture..." I add as Chris looks back at me.

"Fuck I never thought that I was ever going to see you again," I admit and he softly smiles at me.

"You uh, look really good... I mean really good," Chris says with his eyes quickly glancing over me.

"Thank you... I uh... decided to ditch the bruising problem... you know... I still may be a fuck up but at least I knew that wasn't a great look for me," I say trying to make a joke. I still wasn't ready to talk about it but at least I can try and make the best of it. He continues to look at me and I just look down at myself realizing that may not have been as funny as I thought it was.

"You look really good too..." I say, slowly looking back at him.

"Really? This old thing?"" Chris jokes gesturing to himself and I laugh.

"I even missed that laugh of yours," Chris chuckles as I giggle.

"And you're not a fuck up," Chris adds, his blue eyes finding mine once again and we glance at each other for a few moments. He reaches out to me and cups my face in his palm. Instantly I feel the heat from his hand sending trickles of goose bumps throughout my body. I can't even explain just how much I missed his touch and I wanted to show him just how much I missed him.


	7. Seven

Brooklyn, New York January 23 1992

Leaning into his hand a little, I bring my hand up over his as I close my eyes for a moment. I then feel his lips on mine, gently brushing and it startled me at first but then in no time I respond as he pulls me in a little closer. I immediately suck that bottom lip of his relishing in the feeling of his soft lips that I had missed all along.

He parts his lips from me for a moment, moving his hands to my hips, touching his forehead to mine for a second and pulls me into his lap and hungrily goes for my lips again. I thread my fingers through his curls, pressing my chest to his while his hands eagerly move their way around to my back and up my shirt and all I could think about was how long it had been since he touched me which increased my appetite to continue.

I parted my lips from him for just a second as he swiftly lifts my shirt over my head, tossing it somewhere across the room then eagerly presses his lips back to mine again while I press my chest to his once again. I let out a small moan against his lips as I could feel his hardness already through his pants. Without even hesitating, I let go of his hair and reach down, unzipping his pants carefully as his cock springs out into full view.

He parts his lips from me glancing down and watching me take him in my hand, giving him a couple of squeezes and he lets out a groan.

"It's been a while, baby," He breathes closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip.

"Well we're just going to have to fix that," I purr in his ear as I give him another squeeze. He moans once more and I move to position myself, kneeling in front of him in between his legs. I eagerly pull his pants down with his boxers over his hips while he helps kicks them off. I giggle a little and fling them across the room, then push his legs apart to get myself into the perfect position. Without wasting any time, I take him in my hand and suck the tip of him gently hearing him sigh as I do so.

"Oh shit," He whimpers and I suck lightly, feeling his whole body tense up. I give him another squeeze as I suck harder and more determined, earning moans of encouragement with each stroke. His breathing intensifies as his hands find my hair, gently unclipping, letting my dark curls fall down, his fingers drowning as he runs them through my curls. I moan a little as his fingers play with my hair feeling so good as I do my work on him. He groaned even louder which only inflamed me more, my clit throbbing and alive just begging to be played with.

I stopped for a moment, running my tongue all the way down the shaft and slowly back up to give me a moment to catch my breath. Then I went back to sucking, flattening my tongue along his shaft stroking and squeezing whatever I couldn't get in my mouth, using my other hand to softly play with his balls. This went on for a while as he played with my hair, giving me a good tug every once and a while as he moaned and groaned even louder than before.

"Oh fuck... don't you dare fucking stop," He begged throwing his head back, feeling the urge to release. Smiling to myself, I got down to business, sucking greedily, harder and harder as he twitched and moaned and screwed up his face. Once his stomach became tense, I moved my hand from his balls up over his abs and prepared myself for the load that was about to explode in my mouth. I soothed him through it as he cried, his voice deep and husky at first before turning into a whimper and once it was over, I let go as his hands dropped from my hair and I sat back on the floor to catch my breath.

He sat there on the couch breathing heavily, his hands covering his eyes while I got up off the floor and headed over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I took a long drink and walked back over to him sitting down beside him facing him with my arm resting on the back of the couch and my head resting in my hand, taking another drink as he threaded his fingers through his hair, trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Good?" I asked with a smile.

"Fuck..." He sighs and I laugh taking another sip of my water and setting it down on the side end table.

He glances over at me and then moves himself snaking his arms around me and resting his head on my chest. I smile to myself as I begin to play with his hair, twirling his curls around my fingers. Then I thread my fingers through his roots, brushing them away from his face, moving down to his right ear, playing with the silver hoop earing then moving further along his jawline and playing with his beard.

"You like touching, don't you?" He says lazily with his head still pressed against my chest.

"Yea..." I say quietly as I thread my fingers through his roots again, running through his soft locks as he grips me closer and snuggles into my chest again.

"That feels good..." He says dreamily.

"I missed touching you" I admit as his hand follows down my arm, taking my hand from his hair and placing soft sweet kisses on my palm.

"All I did was listen to your voice," I say quietly meaning it more to myself but not caring to admit it at all.

When I moved in here I immediately bought a record player with two bookshelf speakers that sat on the book shelf on the opposite wall we were sitting at. I didn't want to admit to him that I had to re-buy his albums over again... since I had been running for so long but when I hadn't heard from him in all those months, I needed something to keep me company when I went to sleep at night... sometimes even with my fingers between my legs.

"But I have to say... your voice is so much better in person," I add and he chuckles.

"Happy Birthday by the way..." He says after a few moments and moves his head to place a few gentle kisses on my chest.

"How did you know?"

"Your uh, friends told me last night when I went back in to ask them where you lived so I could take you home," He says and places another kiss on my chest.

"Oh,"

"You're only just a few months younger than me,"

"Yea," I smile shyly.

"Ok, I think I've denied you long enough now. Lay back... consider this your birthday present," He smiles that devilish grin and I did as he instructed.

Clad in just my bra and shorts still, I laid down on the couch. His fingers hooked in the rim of my shorts and he slowly pulled them down over my hips as I raised my arms above my head gripping onto the arm of the couch and he flings them off somewhere in the room, leaving me in my thong panties. With him still sitting between my legs, he slowly moved his hand up my leg, starting at my foot, moving slowly up my shin while his blue eyes follow. I close my eyes and inhale, letting the heat of his hand engulf me when he softly started to sing to me.

"You motioned to me, that you wanted to leave... and go somewhere warm... where we'd be alone..."

His voice breaks every once and a while and my eyes flick to him for a moment, though he keeps his gaze down, softly moving his hand up my thigh.

"I do... not know... what's going on... but I'm guessing... it's an all night thing..." He continues and I feel my heart racing as he sings. His eyes flick to mine as his hands move up over my stomach and up to my breasts, then he stops and lifts my bra up and over my nipples.

"You can... just... take it off me," I breathe but he shakes his head 'no'.

"I like how your nipples stick out," He says and goes back to singing to me.

"I walk along... feeling at ease... and falling .... like rain... into your scheme..." He sings and I shuddered at the sound of his incredible voice. Once he stopped, he lowered his head to take my right nipple into his mouth, sliding his tongue across the hard nub of flesh there. He swirled and flicked until I thought I would cum right there and then. He sensed it and turned his attention to the other nipple repeating the whole process. Soon I was quivering from his gentle licking and sucking dying a tiny death inside me.

"I take it you like this?" He asks

"Uh huh," I whimper. My panties had to be soaked by now.

While I let out a few pleasurable sounds he sits up, and positions himself in between my legs and slowly peels down my panties, removing them completely and tossing them aside.

"If it's an... all night thing... nobody's gonna... make it end... and if it don't begin... don't worry that I'll ... take offence..." He pauses for a moment and flicks his blue eyes to me.

"And if it's an all night thing... and we fall like a tear... falling to the ground..." He trails off for a moment his eyes still on mine and all I could do was bite my bottom lip as he opens my legs. He glances down, moving his hands up my inner thighs and continues.

"I'll never come around... and you'll never... hear a word from me... if... it's ... an all night... thing..."

"Chris please..." I whimpered.

"Please what?" He says his eyes flicking back up to mine piercing straight through me as his fingers moved closer to my center, gently teasing all around.

"Please... please just... fuck me," I moaned like an idiot and he laughed playfully.

"Don't worry, I will... but you'll have to indulge me first,"

His fingers immediately touch the throbbing pink nub of my clit making me gasp at how sensitive I actually was. He softly strokes slow and sensual, his eyes flicking up to me watching my reaction to him. I don't know if it was because I haven't been touched in so long or the fact that he serenaded me the way he did but I was sure not going to last long at all.

"Shit... that's... fucking perfect... don't stop..." I was finding it a little hard to speak as he began to stroke me a little faster. I was gripping the arm of the couch and slowly arching my back trying to catch my breath as he continued.

"No, baby... you're fucking perfect," He purrs and parts my lips with his thumbs, his tongue giving my clit one good long lick before placing his lips around and sucking making me yelp in surprise and pleasure at the same time. He gave me a few really good sucks, inserting a couple of fingers inside me and by then, it was over. I was doing everything I could to make this last as long as I could but it was no use. I couldn't even warn him that I was about to cum when I felt myself explode all over, whimpering and crying out, saying wicked things as he pulled the very essence of myself from me.

"Well... I'd say it sounded like you needed that... you were even louder than the first time," Chris says when he lifts his head from me, giving a small laugh, apparently pleased with himself that he made me cum so quick.

"You... you were even better... than the first time," I pant with my eyes still squeezed shut as he moves over me, wrapping my legs around his waist, taking my right nipple back into his mouth and flicking his tongue like he did with my clit and teasing me with the tip of his cock, making me rock my hips but not going inside me just yet.

"You want this baby?" He says, his voice low and husky as his lips trail up to my neck.

"Uh huh," I whimper.

"You want me to fuck you baby?" He purrs in my ear making my neck tingle with the warmth of his breath and all I could let out was a moan.

"Say it,"

"Yes... please... please fuck me Chris," I beg and he laughs playfully in my ear, hesitating and then moving to frame my face in his hands.

His incredible blue eyes bore into mine and he pushes himself inside me sending a wave of pleasure that felt like it started from my thighs all the way up through my body, making my nipples tingle as I arch my back. The length of him completely fills me up inside and not once did he take his eyes away from me. He thrusts over and over and as soon as I throw my head back to moan, he places his lips on my throat, gently brushing his lips up to my chin but then forces me to look into his eyes again.

Suddenly his expression changes, becoming determined, thrusting one more time before pulling out of me, then grabbing my hip to signal to me to flip over.

"Hard?" He asks.

"Yes please," I say excitedly as I position myself on all fours and removing my bra flinging it somewhere else in the room. He grips my hips and he quickly pushes himself back inside me, threading his fingers through my hair and gripping at my roots.

"Holy... fuck... yes... fuck yes..." I praise feeling every ridge of his cock inside me more so than before, hitting every single perfect spot.

"Go deep," I encourage and he responds, letting go of my hair, gripping my hips and thrusting hard making me squeal.

"Like that?"

"Just... like... that..." I moan. He continues for a while behind me feeling like the most incredible thing that I've ever experienced when his hand travels up my side and around to my front pulling me up into a seated position with him. He brushes my curls off my shoulder that had fallen down around me, placing soft sweet kisses all along the back of my neck, making my neck tingle and this time, I didn't try to stop him. I relished in the feeling of his gentleness.

"Mmmm... you want to cum?" He purrs in my ear and nibbles my earlobe. All I could do was moan as that question sent sensations all over my body like I never thought it would.

"You want to cum don't you baby?" He asks again thrusting with more determination and I nodded, whimpering still not able to put together words. He laughed playfully again and reached down with his one hand stroking my clit, his other threading his fingers through my curls and gripping at my roots again. That was all I needed as my orgasm built quickly and with an intensity that scared me, ripping through my body. I raised my arms up, reaching for his hair as I threw my head back.

"Fuck Chris! Make me cum!" I scream, and I did, hearing his cries match my own as he spills his seed inside me. I came and came until It felt like I was about to black out from the pure intensity of the moment. I slumped forward, catching myself with the arm of the couch panting trying to catch my breath.

"You ok?" I hear Chris chuckle as he places his hand on my back softly soothing me.

"I think so, maybe... I don't know... " I say muffled as I rest my forehead on my forearm still trying to catch my breath.

"Good?" He asks.

"Good...? Are you serious...? Jeezus Christ that was incredible," I say, finally having the strength to look back at him, flipping my curls out of my face and he smiles sweetly at me. I then reach out threading my fingers through his curls again and hungrily press my lips to his. He moans against my lips as I suck that bottom lip of his while he takes me into his arms and we continue to make out like we were teenagers again.

Without even realizing it, we ended up spending the majority of the afternoon just laying on my couch, making out and talking which we actually hadn't really done before other than the occasional small talk. This time, I felt like I could let him in a little more, though I didn't obviously tell him everything in my life but I was able to start with the innocent stuff like when I was little, how I grew up and stuff like that. It almost seems backwards that I'm now just talking about stuff like that but really, when have I ever done anything the right way? 

"Well I don't know about you but, I'm hungry," I say as I lift myself up from Chris's chest and make my way over to the kitchen in just my red thong panties as he takes a drag of his cigarette watching me walk away, his eyes wondering over my body.

"Yea I could eat a little somethin' " Chris says slyly and I give him a quick glance back smirking as he raises his eyebrow at me butting out his cigarette.

"I meant for food," I giggle, entering the kitchen, opening the fridge door and flipping my curls out of my face. I take out a bowl of leftover fruit and a can of whip cream, close the fridge door with my foot as Chris walks over to the counter island in his black boxers and slides himself onto the barstool. I set the bowl and the whip cream on the counter island, and take a bite of a strawberry.

"My god... that's so good," I say with a mouthful of strawberry and Chris chuckles at me.

"Want some...? I think I have some leftover chicken in there too," I say and turn to open the fridge door again, pulling out the plate of chicken that I cooked yesterday and setting it on the counter, then reaching in the drawer and pulling out a couple of forks.

"Chicken and fruit... alright..." Chris chuckles and I giggle taking another bite of a strawberry.

"What can I say...? I guess I'm craving something sweet and meaty?" I smirk and Chris laughs taking some chicken on his fork.

"Wow... this is really good... you made this?" Chris says with a mouthful and taking some more chicken off the plate.

"Uh huh," I say taking another strawberry. After a few moments of us eating in silence, I decide to pose a question that I was nervous to ask but I wanted to anyways.

"Do you... um, want to stay here again tonight?"

Chris glances at me and flips his curls out of his face looking like he's thinking it over for a moment. My heart fluttered at his hesitation so I turned to go back into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water for him.

"Yea, I'd love to," He softly smiles at me and takes a long swallow from the bottle of water.

"You um... you don't have to sleep on the couch again though," I say shyly not knowing why I feel nervous about inviting him into my bed. He finishes his sip and gives me a smile and I go back to pecking at some fruit in the bowl, spraying some whip cream on top.

"Andi... I gotta tell you something," Chris says as he sets the bottle of water on the counter and I suddenly felt like I had done something wrong. I look at him furrowing my brow as he looks down at the counter for a moment.

"I'm not playing at L'Amour tomorrow night. The band's actually on a little break until the end of February which after that we head to Europe for the rest of the GNR leg. I drove here from home to come and see you. I was on my way here when I suddenly got nervous for some reason so I stopped in at L'Amour just to have a drink so I wouldn't be as nervous when I showed up at your door step. The fact that you were already there was still a coincidence but I already knew where you were living,"

It felt like a punch in the chest as he confesses to me, but not in a bad feeling way. In a way that I actually couldn't believe he tried to find me, and did.

"But how did you find me though?" I ask and he glances back up at me.

"Well you're listed so it didn't really make it that hard," He laughs nervously.

"You drove all the way here from Seattle?"

"Yea... I don't like to fly," He confesses.

"How the hell do you tour?" I giggle.

"Sedatives," He says taking another long swallow of the bottle of water and I had no idea what to even say. I take another strawberry and spray some whip cream on it, placing the entire thing in my mouth. After a few moments I decided to speak.

"What were you going to say?"

"What do you mean?" Chris asks.

"I mean when you planned on just showing up at my door, what were you going to say... if I hadn't been at L'Amour," I ask looking into his eyes. He sets the bottle of water down and leans across the counter on his elbows reaching for my hand and taking it in his. His eyes quickly glance down at my bare chest again and I smirk knowing that I might be distracting him which makes it all the more fun. I lean a little on the counter as he places his lips to the back of my hand and flicks his eyes to mine.

"I was going to say that... I missed you like I've never missed anyone one before and that I made a stupid mistake leaving you back at the hotel the way I did. I would've said that I want you in my life and I'll do anything to make this work between us. That I know you've been burned before and that I'll do anything to prove to you that I'm not them,"

"You already have proved that you're not them," I say quietly.

*****  
In the early morning, I awoke to find that it was still dark in my bedroom. I glance over at the clock on the bedside table and see that it was only 4:45AM. Chris, who was softly snoring, was on his back, his arms raised above his head with his face turned away from me. His beautiful curls spilled across the pillow and his chest looking completely at peace. I could tell he was exhausted from all the fucking we've been doing as was I, but I wanted to savor every moment I have with him for just a while longer. He looked so perfect sleeping and I wondered when the next time I would get the chance to have him next to me once again. He was pretty vague on how long he planned on staying here even though he told me he wanted this to work. I have to be realistic though. I don't have any idea how this would work between us at all.

My mind began to work through some scenarios until I got impatient with myself and found that sleep proved to be a task that I would not conquer at this moment. Sighing, I slipped out of bed, pulling on my Motley Crue tank top as my curls fell down around my shoulders and made my way to the living room to have a cigarette. About an hour later I hear Chris emerge from the bedroom, finding me sitting cross-legged on the couch with the dimly lit lamp and writing in my journal as I exhale a cloud of smoke.

"Hey you," He says groggily his voice still full of sleep as he rubs his eyes.

"Hey," I say quietly still writing.

"What are you doin'?" He asks with a yawn.

"I uh... I'm just trying to... work this out, you know? I think if I save enough money from my next paycheck... I can have enough to get a ticket to fly out to see you," I say still writing and not even looking up at him.

"Andi... we can figure something out... don't worry," He says sweetly sitting down beside me placing his hand on my knee and softly stroking my thigh.

"See... if we time it right... we can work it out to every other weekend which will leave me with only enough for my rent... oh fuck my car insurance though..." I say a little frantically and scribble out a new budget plan.

"Andi... hey... don't worry about this right now... come back to bed with me?"

"Chris...?" I start but he pulls my journal from my lap and closes it, setting it on the table.

"Come back to bed with me," He says with his blue eyes pleading which actually calmed me down just a bit.

"Ok but... no funny stuff... I'm actually kinda sore," I say and he chuckles.

"I honestly don't think I have anything left," He admits and I giggle.

He takes my hand and leads me back to my bedroom. I take off my Motley Crue shirt while he climbs back into his same spot, holding his arms out for me to snuggle in beside him. He wraps his arms around me and I place my head on his chest, playing with his soft curls that spilled across, twirling them between my fingers.

"Why don't you come back to Seattle with me?" Chris says softly after a few moments of us laying with each other.

"What?" I ask in disbelief. I move my head to look up at him as the early dawn light makes my bedroom turn a blue tint.

"Instead of trying to work out weekends and schedules, why don't you just come back to Seattle with me?"

"You... you want me to just... move out there?" I asked incredulously. My thoughts ran through my head like a tyrant.

"Yea... you're not tied down here are you?"

"Well... no not exact - "

"Then say yes,"

We face each other in the dim light of the bedroom as he takes my hand placing soft sweet kisses on my palm. My heart was beating so fast and my mouth was dry. I couldn't believe what he was asking me.

"Is that why you came here? To take me back with you?" I ask in a small voice.

"Yea, pretty much,"

His words hung there for a moment and I didn't know what to say. It was so unexpected.

"I... don't know. I don't know if I would even fit in,"

"Andi trust me, you would definitely fit in. The guys are great. Kim is just as much a metal head as you are and I know he would just love you... besides... there isn't anything planned until the spring so it would just be you and me and my big old bed,"

"I need to think about it," I say quietly. I couldn't believe he was asking me to give everything up. I had worked so hard to get a place where I wasn't this lost, broken shell of a person anymore. It's not something that I can just flippantly decide.

Later on that morning as we were getting ready for the day, Chris stood in my living room packing up his little overnight duffel bag.

"I'm sorry... I can't... not yet," I say sadly not wanting him to ever leave me.

"I know... I understand" He says sadly and zips up his bag.


	8. Eight

Tacoma, Washington April 21 1992

The sun had long sunk behind the mountains giving off the most gorgeous pink hue. The early spring scent fills my lungs as I take in a deep breath of that mountain air. The air was cool but then again it was April. As I pull my leather jacket closed, I hear the sliding glass door open and a voice deep but comforting.

"So, you like that or what?"

It was Kim Thayil, closing the sliding glass door, handing me a beer and then sitting down next to me as I open the beer he handed me. Chris was right. Kim and I instantly clicked as we talked about everything from music to philosophy but basically we bonded over how much we love Black Sabbath and obviously all things metal.

"Yea it was pretty nice... though I'm not so sure about the whole constant pissing of this mist that's going on," I say looking up and seeing the overcast clouds beginning to part.

"Trust me you'll get used to it," Kim smirks. Inside I could hear the incredible screams of Robert Plant which then suddenly stopped in exchange for some Type O Negative. There were so many people inside to welcome me here that it was a little overwhelming, which is why I'm sitting out on the back deck.

"Fuck... I'm so fucking glad Chris found someone like you... jeezus he was miserable without you for all that time..." Kim says taking a long drink of his beer.

"Really?" I ask taking a sip.

"Yea really... I kept telling him to call you all last summer but he was so stubborn. He thought that you reject him or something since your number was disconnected back in Vegas. Even tually I stopped buggin' him about it cause it was pissing him off... but hey you're here now..." Kim smirks.

"Huh... I had no idea," I say thoughtfully. I had thought he'd forgotten about me until I ran into him again in Califonia, and then again in New York.

"Of fuck he'd never tell you... In fact, don't say I said anything alright?"

"I won't,"I laugh as Kim chuckles.

When Chris left that morning, I wondered if I was making the right decision. Second guessing myself has always been a fault of mine, but I didn't want to run into his arms in fear of being alone. I had made so much progress at that point by getting out of a relationship that had beaten me down literally after so many years of never accepting my self for who I am. I wanted to be sure of myself and I wanted to be able to be ok with all the mistakes that I have made in my life, and I had to do that alone.

But of course, when Chris would call me, each time he brought up the subject, I would say that I wasn't ready but then I would still go on and ask a million questions and he would answer them honestly, promising me I would love it out here. It was only then around the middle of March that Chris finally convinced me to come out to Seattle and stay. To say he was elated is an understatement. He practically screamed into the phone when I said I would move out here. A few days later he was at my doorstep helping me pack though all I really had to pack was my most precious belongings, my clothes and my small record collection that I had started to re-build. The rest of the time we ended up fucking like crazy and it was fucking amazing.

I made the drive out here with Chris by my side as there was no way I was going to give up my car and he knew it. My black '69 Dodge Charger has been the most constant reliable thing in my life, taking me everywhere from California to New York and there's no way I am ever giving her up. Like I always said, she's my baby.

Once I settled with Chris in Seattle just a couple of weeks ago now, Chris made it clear that I didn't have to find work right away, though he supported my decision if I wanted to work, he just didn't want me to feel pressured to find something just for the sake of it, that if I want to, to make sure it's something I love. In the meantime, I'm taking some time to get to know the area and Chris's band along with a few friends I've met along the way.

"Well all we can say is welcome to Seattle... well really Tacoma right now... but Seattle... ah fuck, Washington in general. Where it constantly pisses and the beer is watered down, so that's why we head to Vancouver to get the good stuff," Kim smiles breaking my reverie and I just laugh. He then clinked his beer to mine and headed back inside. After a few moments, I hear the door slide open again and this time it was Chris in his green and black plaid button up shirt that he left unbuttoned, those black suede wrist bands, his necklaces laying perfectly against his bare chest with his black baggy shorts and those gorgeous curls that flowed just passed his shoulders.

"Hey baby," He smiles as I look up at him.

"Hey," I say sweetly. He flips his curls out of his face and presses his lips to mine. I reach up for a moment, playing with his perfectly trimmed beard as he lingers on my lips for a few moments. He then breaks away and sits down on the bench facing me, brushing my dark curls off my shoulder and placing another quick kiss to that spot just under my earlobe.

"You liking it out here?" He asks playing with one of my curls and twirling it between his fingers.

"Yea... it was a little crowded in there so I just, wanted to watch the sun set," I exhale as I turn back to look at the fading sunlight behind the mountains.

"You know what I love about you the most?" He says sweetly.

"What's that?" I ask looking back at him.

"How incredibly strong you are, how you never once gave up even though you felt like it. You're my everything," He says and places another kiss on that spot just under my earlobe again.

"You're drunk aren't you?" I ask with a smirk and he pulls away.

"Just a little," Chris squints his eyes making a small gesture with his hand and I laugh.

"I love you too," I giggle and Chris chuckles framing my face with his palms and touching his forehead to mine for a moment, then pressing his lips to mine once more under the sparkling stars of the western sky.


End file.
